In an earlier post, I introduced many new tech terms, which have since come to dominate the tech lingo of cyberspace. Some examples were the now ubiquitous Hardwhere?, which refers to your misplaced thumb drive, and Full Body Scam: a security procedure designed to prevent terrorists with body image issues from boarding a plane. Well, as the world of technology continues to spin out of control, it is my self-assigned duty to introduce new terms that you will need for your immediate survival. Here they are, your 3rd quarter 2010 new tech terms from Daisybrain:
- IP Address: Pronounced, “I pee address.” This is the location of your bathroom.
- IBM: Another thing you can do in your bathroom
- iCulturation: The successful marketing strategy that has convinced you of the need to purchase everything with the small letter i in front of it.
- iCarumba!: The sound you make when you give in and spend $35 for a 50 cent piece of plastic to cover the back of your teenager’s iPhone
- Megabites: The realization that megabytes are no longer enough and you have to upgrade to gigabyte drives
- Gigabites: The realization that gigabytes are no longer sufficient and you need to purchase a terabyte drive
- Photoshoplift: Avoiding time-consuming originality by altering a copyright protected image to make it your own
- Compewter: An antique computer, made from pewter
- Sell Phone: A fancy cell phone whose entire purpose is to sell you aps that don’t work on any other device, and that you don’t really need but that make you feel special and hip.
- Internest: An internet developed by birds who will one day rule us from the skies
New Tech, Old Tech: Why we keep trying to imitate old technology, beneath this flower…