why? Why?? WHY???

whathehellisacowlanyway

  • Why are movie superheroes always revealing their allegedly secret identities? That rarely, if ever, happens in the original comic books. But from Batman, Superman, The Green Lantern, Iron Man and Spiderman, movie versions of superheroes are letting their enemies, their loved ones, and even their liked ones know who they are. Why wear a mask (or in Superman’s case, a pair of glasses as Clark Kent) at all? And while I’m asking, why was Batman’s cowl, fashioned of secret, military, futuristic material, so easy to crack in half in that last movie? And why were he and Bane fighting like championship wrestlers instead of ninjas? But I digress. American movies have determined that, unlike in the comics, the bad guy should usually die at the end & secret identities should be dramatically revealed… or otherwise somehow figured out by bad guys preceding their deaths.

 

  • Speaking of masks, why doesn’t someone tell Batman that he looks very silly with all that black eye makeup that materializes only when he has his mask on? Why can’t modern movie costume & special effects people figure out how to make his eyes look dark and enigmatic without a schmear of grease paint surrounding them?
  • And what’s with Spiderman’s mask? Why is it all one seamless piece with the rest of his costume until he’s about to take it off & then (off camera) it turns into a separate piece? That’s weird.
  • If something is “needless to say,” why do people go ahead and say it?
  • Why do people always go on to mention whatever it is they precede with “not to mention”?
  • My nomination for most overused word of the century is leverage, as in, “We need to leverage our resources,” and “That financial instrument provides the necessary leverage.” I don’t think that half the people using the word know what it means. I know I don’t. Why not speak simply to be understood?
  • And finally, why did Neanderthals have larger brains than modern humans?

Another Batman mystery pondered beneath this very flower:

dasy

About these ads

2 Responses to why? Why?? WHY???

  1. Actors are massive egotists, and reluctance of stars to take any role which would involve their faces being covered for a substantial percentage of a film’s running time is a huge reason it took so long for many superhero to make it to the big screen.

    Batmask: I also cannot figure this one out. It’d make some sense if the makeup was only visible when freeze-framed and enlarged but it’s pretty obvious on any size screen. I keep thinking “Ah, this new modern Batman movie will surely fix that idiocy” but not so far.

    Spidermask: comicbook visual shorthand translated into literal physical costuming is dicey at the best of times, but considering the success cosplayers seem to have had recreating the Spider-Man costume on limited budgets I think this one has proven viable.

    Turns of phrase: I want one day to walk up to a podium, say “Here’s someone who needs no introduction”, then immediately sit down.

    And finally: brain size isn’t directly correlative to intelligence.

    • EricIndiana says:

      I agree that they did a great job on the Spiderman movies, though “limited budget”? I don’t know how many bizzilion dollars they are limited to. That non-intro of yours would be great to see! I agree that brain size isn’t dir. correlated to intelligence – I wrote about that in an earlier blog, pointing out than many whales have massively larger brains than us. Of course, now I’m assuming that we are more intelligent than whales, which is pretty species-centric of me. Also, ants have a far greater brain-to-body ratio than humans.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 7,138 other followers

%d bloggers like this: