Words and Such

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Without your innate ability to urinate, you’re in urine trouble.

Which leads us to this list of dreadfully important new words:

  • Urinatability: Your innate ability to urinate.
  • Rainish: Kind of, or almost, raining – maybe it rained last night, the air is still pregnant with humidity & the gutters and branches are still dripping water. “Hey teacher! You said we could have class outside today if it’s not raining.” “I know, but it’s still a bit too rainish.”
  • Assuridy: With much assurance, as in, “I can say with a great deal of assuridy that ‘assuridy’ is now a word.”

In about 40 years, people currently called “hipsters” will still be called hipsters, but it will be because they’ve had hip replacement surgery.

Which leads us to ways that the hipster lifestyle has caught on in the animal kingdom. Recently spotted at urban zoos:

Hipsterpotamus (“I realize hippos are herbavores. So serve me some herb-flavored bacon.”)

Hipstergriff (“Oh yes, I’m a totally mythological creature. That’s why you can’t see me.”)

and in the Aquarium…

Hipstarfish (“Finally, I’m a star. And with it comes the amazing ability to regenerate limbs when slobbering 9-year-old humans grab me out of the water and drop me on the floor. Thank you, fate.”)

Negative and difficult things to say out loud (and quickly) about sea life:

A shellfish is selfish

A crusty crustacean cursed the tangled toast, chanting, “Crushed crust, crushed crust, crushed crust!”

“I’m sick of eating fish,” thought the finicky shark. “Always fish flesh, fish flesh, fish flesh!” Looking up at a seagull on a buoy, he exclaimed, “Mmmm… Buoy bird, buoy bird, buoy bird!”

Patriatism – too long; it should be “patriacy”.

Which leads us to the following list of shortened and combined words, located under this flower:

dasy

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