Be Afraid! But Not of North Korea

August 11, 2017

Every government loves to have an enemy to rally their people against. It’s especially useful for the consolidation power by an unpopular regime.

But here are some reasons your fear of the latest US bogeyman, North Korea, is misplaced.

  1. History is the best predictor of the future. How many countries has North Korea invaded in its history? Zero. Korean wars have all been on Korean soil. Recent history has several imperialist countries invading Korea, but Korea doesn’t go out of its way to invade others. In fact, North Korea has been around since 1945 – the result of the global puppetry of the United States and the Soviet Union. Since then, North Korea has invaded no one.
    • Just for a little context, the United States has invaded at least 42 nations, more than half of which were attacked in the last 50 years. That number does not include the countless smaller military skirmishes and illegal covert operations we’ve been involved in. Many countries have been invaded by the United States four, five or six times. Take Cuba – we’ve sent our military or a proxy army there at least six times. Honduras? Eight military interventions. Panama? 11. It’s much harder to find countries the United States hasn’t invaded.
  2. They’ve got nukes! Many countries, some allies, some not, have nuclear weapons. The United States, for example, has by far the largest arsenal of nuclear weapons on the planet, enough to destroy all life on Earth many times over. North Korea has never dropped nuclear bombs on people; we have. Twice, in fact, killing hundreds of thousands of people. We even tested nuclear weapons on our own people. We displaced an entire civilization to blow up their island homeland with nuclear bombs. We tested a nuclear bomb near a Japanese fishing boat, killing a crew member. Radioactive fallout from our atomic bomb tests fell on the marshall Islands, Australia, India and Japan, the U.S. and Europe, and contaminated the Japanese food supply. More recently, the U.S. used depleted uranium missiles in the Gulf War, the war in Bosnia, the bombing of Serbia, and dropped between 1,000 and 2,000 tons of depleted uranium bombs on Iraq in 2003. So, who’s more scary? Our track record on nuclear bombs does not bode well for the planet.
  3. Kim Jun Un is a madman! He’s irrational, unpredictable…. There is nothing in North Korea’s behavior that indicates the country is run by a crazy person. Their development of nuclear weapons, reprehensible as it may be, is completely rational. In fact, it may be the only reason their regime still stands. In 2002, George W. Bush declared North Kore to be part of an “Axis of Evil.” One of the other two nations on that list, Iraq, which did not process a nuclear deterrent, was subsequently destroyed by the United States, its leaders executed in the aftermath of the obliteration of his country.

Every few years, the United States government declares some foreign leader to be an existential threat. If that person is labeled as “irrational,” then there’s no use trying diplomacy. What’s galling is that inevitably the US media and entertainment industry goes along with US propaganda. Commenters on the left buy and propagate the same lines – the guy is crazy, he’s irrational, he’s another Hitler. The truth is that national leaders act to preserve and increase their hold on power. Predictably, Kim Jun Un does it by belligerently standing up to the US and bragging about his country’s nascent nuclear capability. President Trump does it by threatening war through tweets. As Trump’s popularity continues to sink, the threat of war gains more immediate plausibility. But it’s not an attack from the tiny nation of North Korea that we should be fearing. We have met the enemy, and he is us.


6 Reasons to Ban Homework

July 29, 2017


With the recent headlines about a school district in Florida doing away with homework, I thought it would be helpful to review some of the disturbing facts about homework that have been known for decades but still ignored by adults who want to continue to haze children with this dreaded practice:

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I Kan’t SEE a Thing

July 23, 2017


Resently, the SEE key on my MakBook stopped working. This is annoying, but it kould have been worse. As you kan see, a ‘k’ or an ‘s’ is easily substituted, and for more formal kommuniation, I have taken to kopying and pasting the letter SEE. This takes up a bit of time, sine I kan’t just hit Kommand-SEE to kopy.

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Words we need to make it through the next year

July 16, 2017


Junioring: The act of claiming innocence by stupidity

Internyet: Russian use of the internet to veto an election 

Fakicity: Obvious artificiality and fakeness presented by people pretending to be authority figures

Flerp: To pass on a brain activity due to media overload. Example: In response to a question about the Trump-Russia conspiracy,  “I flerp on that,” “I flerp,” or simply, “flerp.”

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Little Things That Piss Me Off

July 13, 2017


  • Calling soldiers “Warriors,” like they fight for the Greco-Roman Empire
  • Calling the country the “Homeland,” like its an island fortress where our species first emerged and must stay to survive, surrounded by hostile alien vampire globs

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I Apologize for Whatever

July 9, 2017

Hello. I haven’t been posting as prolifically and pointlessly as usual. Party, this is because I have been submitting poems and stories to publications and contests, many of which demand that the work has never been published anywhere, even in an obscure personal blog with a devoted readership of my mom.

I feel bad for my imaginary readers. That is why I am treating you to a blog post in progress! That’s right, I have a partially completed blog post which is neither a story nor a poem, and therefore nobody else wants it. So here it is….

My upcoming Alphabet Post!!!

An apple always appreciates anything advertised as “Astronomical!”

Bees basically break beauty basics because bees behave badly.

Can cream cheese cause cancer?

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The American Myth of Goodness

July 2, 2017

Barack Obama was the master of stirring rhetoric evoking our nation’s imperfect past rooted in a perfect ideal. Everything was always framed in a way to excuse our flaws as hiccups on the path toward “a more perfect union,” answerable to “the better angels of our nature.” Genocide against First Americans? Hundreds of years of chattel slavery? Jim Crow, Red Scare, the Iraq War… all anomalies. After all, here in America our founding gods, er, fathers, believed that all people (at the time they just referred to them as “men”) were created equal. We are the shining beacon of light on the hill, blah, blah, blah.

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