Possibly the Worst DB Post of All Time – Don’t Miss it!!!

February 25, 2015

Vegescarian – A scary vegetarian. I’m sure there are some out there.

Cappichinos – My coffee stained chinos.

Mariwanna – The state of wanting marijuana.

Windough – A window into a bakery.

Horse drawn carrage – an angry horse drawn carriage. Hey – I’m just reporting what my brain tells me, folks.

Protagonische – When Nische is the book’s protagonist.

Democatic Party – Feline offshoot of the Democratic Party.

Republican’t Party – They just can’t party, sorry.

Compewter – A failed product launch of an all pewter Macbook.

Prokilogram – 1,000 times heavier than a program.

There, you made it. You can shake that bad pun feeling off by clicking this flower:

dasy1

 

 

 

 


Cat Poems

February 20, 2015

Jeremy Says Meow

I’m home. Does anybody care?

Jeremy says, meow

What’s that funky smell down there?

Jeremy says, meow

Who knocked over the kitchen trash?

Jeremy says, meow

What happened to my cheesecake stash?

Jeremy says, meow

Where’s my fluffy kitty-king?

Jeremy says, meow

Do you love me more than anything?

Jeremy says, meow

Cat Haiku

I am a big cat

I like to eat little cats

I’m a catibal

When Cats Come By

When cats come by

they come at night

filling the shadows

desperately moaning intentions

It’s the demon side

Of fluffy pranksters

 

Click the whiskers for mustache poetry:

mustache

 

 


It was chocolate and it was all I needed.

February 17, 2015

The following prompt was given to me by Kim Gifford, a writing teacher in White River Junction, Vermont.

Prompt: The 2015 Grammy Song of the Year was Stay with Me, by Sam Smith. Write a piece based on these lyrics: “Won’t you stay with me, because you’re all I need.”

It was chocolate and it was all I needed. But what’s the point of something after you’ve consumed it? I knew full well that the chocolate would be with me for ever – I would incorporate it into my body. But then, it would no longer be chocolate, would it? My body would process and expel parts of it; other parts would be broken down to their constituent bits and perhaps some of its molecules would end up part of my spleen. That’s no life for a good chocolate bar.

And this was a very good chocolate bar. The best. Made by hand from raw, organic, single origin, Fair Trade chocolate. You couldn’t get more positive chocolate karma if you employed disabled, homeless vets to plant the chocolate, as recuperative therapy for PTSD, on a solar powered farm and recycling center made from converting an old missile factory into a free school and environmental learning community that taught conflict resolution and love to war orphans. This chocolate was that good.

But was the chocolate not made to be eaten? Was it not the nature of chocolate, the purpose of its very existence to taste good going down? Hell no! That’s like saying that the purpose of morning dove is to be eaten by a hawk. That very well might be the fate of that dove, but it was created to be its glorious self; its value came not from being eaten, but from being.

In any case, I had long since gobbled down the chocolate before I reasoned all of this out. I mean, it was chocolate, after all, and regardless of its inherent self-value and nature, it was my nature, just like the hawk with the dove, to eat chocolate. At least I can honestly say that when my teeth bit into it, all I was thinking was, “You’re all I need.” And at that moment, it was true.

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Look! this flower leads to more chocolate writing:

dasy1


Rare Daisybrain Posts!

February 14, 2015

In the last hundred years, I have published 433 posts on the Daisybrain Network. This constitutes post #434. Some posts have fared better than others. According to WordPress, Skinny Mirrors and Other Retail Tricks has garnered 6,954 hits, and continues to get visits every day. It is my immortal post. Some posts, through no fault of their own, haven’t received such love.

The following daisies link to five posts that, as of this writing, have received exactly one hit each. These posts, overlooked in the hustle and bustle of Daisybrain traffic, are still fresh and spunky. That is why I am giving you this exceedingly rare opportunity to venture back into the Daisybrain Archives and visit…

FORGOTTEN DAISYBRAIN POSTS!

Please click, at your discretion:

dasy1dasy1dasy1dasy1dasy1


Things People Say That Make No Sense

February 11, 2015

So, the other day I attended a panel discussion in which one of the panelists boasted “35 years of experience” among the members of her department. People say this sort of thing a lot. Maybe you say it about the people you work with. It’s kind of like saying that a classroom of first graders has 22 years of experience in mathematics. Although the collective experiences of many people new to their jobs has value, it’s not quite the same as one person with all that experience.

Here are some other things you hear people say (and do) that make no sense:

Read the rest of this entry »


Two Poems and a Thing

February 7, 2015

I exist outside

I exist outside

I exist inside

I am the Earth breathing the sky

I am the snow looking at my reflection in the window

I am the window

Read the rest of this entry »


On Retroactively Lowering School Grades

February 3, 2015

One day, at the New Hampshire middle school where I taught, a school administrator informed me that one of my students was going to have her previous quarter’s grades lowered to all Ds, due to excessive absences during the school year. I was stunned. We do that? We lower grades that students earned, after the fact, as a punishment/incentive to change behavior?

Read the rest of this entry »


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