Observations (Read Me!)

Here are some things that strike me as odd….

1. The word “odd” should be spelled “od,” or better yet, “poosh” – now that would be odd.

2. “long vowels” are not actually long, and “short vowels” are not actually short.

In fact, often it’s just the opposite. Compare the short and long “a”:”Aaaaaaah, a tomato!” And of course there is “Aaaaaaaaw! A kitten!” as well as, “Uuuuuuuuuh, I dunno,” and “Iiiiiiiiiiinteresting…. a man with three buttocks.”

3. It doesn’t faze my dog that I can open the garage door without touching it. Come to think of it, he doesn’t seem to question my ability to open the back window of the car apparently by saying, “Here you go. Now you can sniff out the window.”

4. It’s the job of children to reduce the potential energy of objects by putting them on the floor, and it is the job of adults to pick the objects back up and put them on elevated surfaces. In this way, we keep the universe in equilibrium.

5. The country with more nuclear weapons than all of the other countries on earth combined, which is also the only country ever to have dropped nuclear bombs on people, twice, which has also tested nuclear weapons on its own people, keeps bombing other countries or threatening to do so, because they may develop a single nuclear weapon.

6. We generally think it a bad thing to take our work home with us, yet we give children homework.

7. As a way to spread their seeds more widely, apple trees have evolved so that part of their bodies will taste good to other creatures.

8. Dogs must think it strange that human beings flush perfectly good smelling poop down the toilet. They must think it even stranger that sometimes we pick up their poop & walk around with it in plastic bags. I’m glad I am not tasked with explaining that to my dog.

9. People who make websites are perfectly comfortable having us type in complex passwords, addresses, and credit card numbers, but make us scroll down long and annoying drop down menus in order to include a 2-letter state abbreviation.

10. Some people pay loads of money for animals which have evolved to bark, only to spend the next 10 to 15 years yelling at those animals every time they bark.

Click this daisy for Funny Things I’ve Heard Kids Say: Or click here to go on a different Daisybrain journey:

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9 Responses to Observations (Read Me!)

  1. ericesad says:

    Wow – this post has already generated 3 more visits that my Pussy post, and it doesn’t even include the word pussy! Well, this comment does. Maybe that will bring more cat-lovers in.

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  2. mike says:

    Eric, your blog posts remind me of how much I miss you. I would say they are a pale, yet pleasing, substitute.

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  3. ericesad says:

    Thanks Mike. I was thinking that it’s kind of like hanging out & discussing crazy shit, except it’s not actually hanging out or real time cross-polinating in a discussion.

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  4. Joe Nickell says:

    You crack me up, man. But pace yourself. You’re setting the expectations of your newly devoted readers insanely high. I mean, now I’m wondering what ten things you’ll come up with tomorrow to brighten my day.

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  5. ericesad says:

    I’m new to this blogging thing, Joe – I thought I had to post most everyday to keep peoples’ interest. I guess I should look more carefully at what other people do in their blogs. But also, I have all this stuff kind of pent up in me and have to get it out. I’ll dry up on ideas in about 3 days.

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  6. Joe Nickell says:

    Yeah see that’s the thing. You could post one of these ideas per day and have ten days worth of posts, and I’d still be hooked and full of juicy anticipation every day. As it is I’m worried that you’ll either prove yourself to be the world’s greatest blogger — putting the rest of us to shame and making us feel like mere earthlings in your cosmic comic game — or you’ll run out of material in a few days and leave me feeling forever like the guy who feels like there was this blog that was awesome and it has run out of material. Exactly like that guy, come to think of it. Huh. Either way, I’m screwed I think. Dammit! So please keep blogging so I can at least laugh my way to oblivion.

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  7. […] Observations (Read Me!) […]

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  8. […] Click here for some observations by a human about dogs & other matters […]

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  9. […] Click here for observations about words and life Share this:Like this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]

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