Mind Boggling Suggestions to Improve the World

Dear People in Charge of Things,

Here are some suggestions to make the world a better place:

  • Duct tape should come in flavors. Some possibilities: Plumber’s Plum, Strawberry Sound Man, Tangerine Toilet, and Duct l’Orange.
  • Household Pneumatic Tubes. The pizza could be zipped to a tube above the kitchen table, like those tubes at drive-through banks. We could also have pneumatic garbage & recycling disposal.
  • “Equality Day”. Everyone forgets about all social and political hierarchy; no one can tell anyone else what to do. If it works out, we can make it permanent.
  • No one who wants to be President should be allowed  to be President. This one doesn’t need any further explanation, does it?
  • Car Trains. Just drive your car onto the train, let the train take everyone from city to city & drive off at your destination. To further diminish damage to the planet, the train routes should be entirely enclosed in a metal mesh that allows fresh air and light but doesn’t let animals on the tracks where they could be hit. The entire roof of these trainways should be covered in solar panels – miles of them. All of the energy to run the trains would come from the solar panels over the train tracks.
  • Honking only in emergencies. Children should be indoctrinated from birth to only honk their car horns in emergency situations, not to punish someone who made a mistake driving.
  • No More Beeping. Devices should not be made to beep unnecessarily. See previous post on this matter.
  • Magnetic crossings for the blind. Canes should have magnetic tips that would allow the user to feel a magnetic signal at a cross walk. So, instead of a chirping sound, which is fine for the blind but doesn’t really help the deaf, crosswalks would switch the polarity of electric magnets embedded in the sidewalk. A pull for “walk” & a push for “don’t walk”.
  • Proportional Representation. Instead of a winner-take-all system, we should move to a more democratic proportional representation of parties. This would allow a foothold for third parties, as well as helping to free people up to vote their consciences.
  • Do away with the Electoral College. I thought I would add my voice to the voices of modernity calling for a true democratic electoral system.
  • Let teenagers sleep late. It’s unnatural for teenagers to do math (or anything else) at 8:30 in the morning. High school schedules should reflect adolescent physiology and begin at 1:20 in the afternoon. They could break for siesta at 5:00 and then continue after supper until 11:00 or midnight. This would have the added benefit of giving teenagers something structured & constructive to do at night.

Need some more time away from getting anything done? This daisy is a Pathway to Procrastination… a Doorway to Daisybrain… a Portal to Purposelessness….

dasy

Click the daisy.

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8 Responses to Mind Boggling Suggestions to Improve the World

  1. ericesad says:

    Just to, uh, comment on my own post here, it is bothering me that I have posted 11 things in this list. In all previous blog lists, I’ve ended up with 10 items, one for each of my 10 bendy stick-like things that I use to type the lists… fingers. So anyway, I was thinking of removing 1 item, and I am leaning toward removing “Do Away With the Electoral COllege” since that’s probably the least original of the suggestions.

    What do you think, Dear Reader? Should 1 of these items go to make it a more perfect list? Or would that be discriminating against people with 11 fingers?

    Like

  2. ilene says:

    Dear Author,

    I say keep “do away with the electoral college” and do away with the pneumatic tube. though it sounds handy and convenient in theory, all i can think of is how gooey, dirty, and smelly the tubes would become, and i would be the one who is tasked with cleaning them out,thus canceling out the handy convenience factor.

    Extra votes for the car trains– paula and eva invented those as well. brilliant. special appreciation for the magnetic crosswalks and letting teenagers sleep late as well.

    Sincerely,
    dear reader

    Like

  3. jilly says:

    you write all of this when youre high right? sounds like me when im high , which is why i ask.

    xoxo 🙂
    j

    Like

    • ericesad says:

      Sadly, my getting high days are long behind me. But maybe the memories of those conversations inspires me. I have been telling friends that reading my blog is like hanging out with me and smoking pot (minus the pot and the hanging out parts).

      Like

  4. […] More Mind Boggling Suggestions! Previously, I posted some suggestions to better the world. I noticed that that post, titled […]

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  5. WehorMahPer says:

    I really enjoyed reading your blogpost, keep on writing such interesting articles!

    Like

  6. […] Magnetic Crossings for the Blind. This idea was part of my post, Mind Boggling Suggestions to Change the World. It’s one of those ideas that you hope makes its way into the ether so that somebody, […]

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  7. […] Mind Boggling Suggestions to Improve the World […]

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