Previously, I posted some suggestions to better the world. I’ve noticed that the post, titled, “Suggestions,” wasn’t getting many hits. Maybe it seemed too polite. Perhaps I should have called it, “Demands!” But for now, I have re-named it, “Mind Boggling Suggestions to Improve the World.”
I therefore have named this list, which your computer screen holds in its hands:
Six More Mind Boggling Suggestions!
1. Euthanize should mean to make younger, not to kill (and it should be spelled “youthanize”).
2. Pockets should have zippers down the front, so that if you keep your wallet in your front pocket, you could unzip to get it out without tearing up your hands, even when sitting in your car at the drive-up ATM.
3. Men’s dress pants should button down the sides, allowing air to circulate. This would address the oppressively warm nature of men’s dress clothes. The pant legs could be fashioned so that fabric would overlap, allowing for modesty while cooling the wearer.
4. We need some new words:
- Utensludge: The crumbs & scum that accumulate in the tray under the spoons, forks & knives.
- Epillogical: When the epilog makes no sense.
- Proteen: A professional teenager, like the Fonze.
- Carnervous: The state in which carnivores find themselves when they worry about whether their vegetarian friends and family members are getting enough protein.
- There are 2 kinds of people in this world: Those who hide their trash cans under the sink, and those who keep them out in the open. Neither group likes the labels that I give them: trashophobes & trashophiles, so here are two new words for them. People who keep their kitchen trash out in full sight are the Trashaware, and those who deny their trash’s existence by hiding the can in the cabinet under the sink are the Trashstashers. Which are you?
5. Before you can regurgitate, don’t you first have to gurgitate? This is more of a question than a suggestion, but I suggest that you consider it.
6. From now on, to save space, replace the ‘e’ in ‘the’ with an apostrophe when followed by a word beginning with a vowel. Ergo: “The end” become Th’end, and “The other day” becomes Th’other day.
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Clicking this daisy will reveal Previous Mind Boggling Suggestions:
This is my 2007 thesis for Lesley University's Masters of Education in Curriculum Design, focusing in Conflict Resolution and Peaceable Schools:
Daisybrain 
ummm, how much can saving space by using your hyphen theory make the world better if space does not exist? i like the intention, tho!
in reference to #5, please see your facebook email.
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Drats! Hoisted by my own petard! (First time I’ve ever said or written that phrase, by the way.)
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For anyone who is not me, reading these comments, Ilene has brought this article to my attention, which validates the existence of the word “gurgitate”:
http://podictionary.com/?p=57
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3 points about this:
Point 1 – Brilliant!!
Point 2 – There is no point 2.
Point 3 – The crux of the biscuit is th’apostrophe (rather than the hyphen)
Another needed word that Alex Smedberg came up with is Pointful — as opposed to pointless.
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Oh my God! I only just noticed your comment. I am quite ‘barrassed that I wrote “hyphen” instead of “apostrophe,” and me being all into words & grammar & such.
And Pointful is an excellent word. I shall incorporate it into my speech forthwith.
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I thought “carnervous” meant the state of my mother when she is in the passenger seat and I am driving.
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Ha!
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I 100% agree with your view on the word euthanize…. It such a nice sounding word.
I think ‘Youth In Asia’ is the best band name ever….
However, I disagree that we need more apostrophes in this world…. It’s bad enough that people are singin’ or drivin’….
http://asblackasobama.blogspot.com
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Youth in Asia – yes. I’ve been considering publishing my list of band names on my blog, but some of them might have double entendres that are a bit crude, so I’m holding off until I can’t think of anything else to blog about.
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I think any amount of space on computers saved is great.Even by 1 it adds up. Maybe cause servers to run more efficiently. Not so many traffic jams on the internetical highway. Btw my childhood aspiration was to be a college graduate. My generation in my personal family is the first to have done so. My dream was to achieve at the least a master’s. Then write books in my golden years.
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[…] Six More Mind Boggling Suggestions! […]
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Ever had to ask the person in the passenger seat if it is ok to merge into the right lane while driving? My mom, lori btw(this is nathaniel), asked me one day that there needs to be a car that tells you that it is ok to merge. We went to a movie at a theater and after words( if this isnt the correct expression it should be this it makes sense) i got in a thinky kinda mood and yhpught about what see said and i thought there could be sensors on the back and sides of the vehicle that see cars and can tell there distance amd speed in order to tell you if you could merge, this could be done simply by a green light for good to merge and red for bad idea. Hope this makes sense to ya
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[…] Pockets should have zippers down the front, so that if you keep your wallet in your front pocket, you could unzip to get it out without tearing up your hands, even when sitting in your car at the drive-up ATM. READ FULL POST […]
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