New Political Jargon

When politics gets boring, it’s time to come up with new political jargon. Here are my suggestions:

Politics

from poly (multiple) + tics (involuntary twitches); the spasms that people exhibit when their actions conflict with their values

Talibanter

the light banter that Taliban fighters engage in on their off time

Hillaryous

when Secretary of State Clinton makes a joke to a foreign diplomat that is lost in translation

Demockery

the special style of democracy evidenced by recent Afghan elections

Obamanation

a fundamentalist term for a politician who defies God’s will by ensuring that more people have health insurance

Diplomacy

an American term for pre-invasion rhetoric

The United Mistakes of America

U.S. foreign policy post-WWII

Terrorism

a crime committed by persons whose politics the government doesn’t like

Insurgents

resistance fighters opposed to U.S. occupation

Freedom Fighters

resistance fighters opposed to Russian (or Soviet) occupation

Capitalism

expressing one’s fear of public disclosure by using all caps in a memo

Governmeant

what the government actually meant to do, before it decided there were no funds available

Lobbyist

a person who hangs out in a lobby (What’s the big deal?)

Star Chamber of Commerce

when the Chamber of Commerce holds secret trials for dissident companies like Apple Computers

Freedumb

the luxury of ignorance

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Click the daisy for some more new political terms from Daisybrain: