How to Take over Your School

This post is only for kids. If you are an adult, particularly one who works in a school, please click on “INDEX” and browse through my wide selection of posts for your reading pleasure.

OK kids, I am now about to betray every principal and teacher I’ve ever worked with by telling you the one big secret that you can use to gain ultimate power in your school.

You may have thought that principals were in charge of teachers and teachers were in charge of students, even though there are far more students than anyone else in the building. But the truth is that you have one nonviolent weapon that teachers and principals fear so much they are afraid to even talk about it.

I will now tell you this amazingly easy way to put the adults at your mercy and get what you want. But you have to promise that you will only use this power for good, not for evil. You can use it to get justice, not to inflict random acts of terror. So, for example, if you have some stupid rule that the adults imposed on you without your input, like no gum chewing, or no hoodies, or no recess for 7th & 8th graders, you use this weapon to change all that. Don’t use it to demand that teachers salute you, walk backwards making chicken sounds, or wear their underwear on the outside.

So here it is. Here is the way that you can rule your school. Every public school in the United States has state testing. In New England, it’s called the NECAPS. In California it’s called STAR. You know what yours is called. If there’s something you want to change about your school and the grown-ups have refused to listen to you, all you have to do is get about a third of the kids in your school to threaten to get the questions wrong on purpose on the state tests.

That’s it. The reason it’s a more powerful weapon than a student strike or anything else you can think of is that the jobs of the principal and the teachers are on the line. The school itself could be shut down if test scores stay low for a few years. Plus, your grades don’t have anything to do with the state tests, so it would be very hard for the adults to fight back – they can’t lower your grades if you are doing your school work well, and they can’t even prove that you got questions wrong on purpose. All they have to know is that there are a bunch of you who are so serious about the change you want to see in your school that you will bring down their precious test scores if they don’t listen to you.

Remember, your school is made for you! All of those people are working for your benefit. A lot of rules, like no running in the hall and no bungee jumping off the roof, are made to keep you safe, and that’s cool.  But sometimes adults get confused about the purpose of rules. They make stuff up just to show you that they are in power. They tell you how to dress and how and when to speak. You should ask yourself, is this rule there for the benefit of students? If you disagree with a rule or anything else at your school, talk to other students about it. If a bunch of you think it should change, go speak to the teachers and Principal. Now that you have this secret weapon at your disposal, you know that you are the ones in your school with the ultimate power.

By yourself, you may not have a chance. But together with a group of friends, if truth & fairness are on your side, no one can stop you. Now go take over your school!

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Revolution in the Classroom

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19 Responses to How to Take over Your School

  1. Paul says:

    Among the many things that are deliciously powerful about this idea is that the hitherto unrecognized point of leverage is itself an injustice, used to overthrow other injustices. It don’t get more elegant than that.

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  2. Editor B says:

    Any student who can organize at the level you suggest deserves to win.

    The only actual report I’ve heard of this sort of thing actually happening was from a NOLA teacher displaced by Katrina. Students in some other state didn’t like this teacher and purposefully flunked the test. Unfortunately engaging the regime at that level isn’t systemically disruptive.

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  3. Chris says:

    I wish I were aware of this while still in high school :).

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  4. Doreen Van Assen says:

    My daughter 2yr ago had a class that students purposely failed test in and got the teacher almost fired. This was in arkansas. 10th grade algebra.

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  5. Doreen Van Assen says:

    i think these test are the most stupid thing ever. Do you know some schools only teach the test all year and nothing else? For a whole 6 months of my children attending BeckVille, I would ask them what did you do today at school? The reply was review for the tacks test everytime.

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    • Doreen Van Assen says:

      When time came to take the test. The test was like 100 questions and had like four hours to do it in. After the test was over the school taught nothing at all. I would ask what did you do.? answer nothing or watched movie or there was not even a teacher in my class today. Some days daughter would text me please come get me I am doing nothing I am so bored.

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  6. Doreen Van Assen says:

    The total population of BeckVille is like 800. And so there you go my daughter had the perfect class sizes of like at the most 10 students per class. And the school could not do anything but teach a test.

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    • Doreen Van Assen says:

      my daughter has attended 6 different school districts. The one I most liked and she seemed the most happy and seemed to learn the most was 2nd grade. The school used a smart program, had a number grading system instead of letters, kept same teacher two years in a row, had play token money for good behavior to spend in the token store every week. This was Dumas, arkansas.

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  7. Doreen Van Assen says:

    A test should only be used to find out if a student has not got the point yet. If the student doesn’t want to know the point, how do you expect to teach it to them. This no child left behind is crap. There must be motivation to want to learn. Testing does not motivate my children to learn. It discourages them if anything at all. The benchmark in Arkansas determines if they even pass 7th grade regardless of their grades. Daughter had nightmares of this test. Since this no child left behind drop out rates keep rising at a very high rate. Teen suicide has shot up. most children do not get the point of a joke until 3rd grade. Daughters second grade evaluation states Your child is a delight to teach because she gets my jokes and I find that usually children never do until I am with them on the next year. lol that teacher also told my daughter once a paragraph was a complete thought. Her first paragraph written was two pages long.

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  8. […] How to Take over Your School […]

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  9. Nasira says:

    So……. I don’t care about making my teachers fear me. I want to take over my school as in make every single living student being thing at my school fear me. I want to run the school. I want to have a lunch table that is MINE, a bathroom that is MINE, and I want people to recognize my superiority above them! I’m planning on bringing my rule to the halls of _________ High School in the Fall of 10th grade. I know I’ll how to do it, but I was looking for extra ideas you know. Anyway… I can’t wait to do this. The 8th graders of this year, I HATE THEM! I’m gonna make their freshman year the worst! I’m ready for this :).

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  10. MEGAMIND says:

    ill take over my school 😡

    i already have power over plenty of the kids. well over 3/4

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  11. Johnny vincent says:

    i going to do this like gary smith of bully

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  12. bossinschol says:

    i like gary smith and i take over whole schol and i take me frend into basment in the schol and i traitor him and take big guy in me class beeat him up i got big guy like russel in me class and i take over schol and i not fail

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    • EricIndiana says:

      That does not sound like a good idea, bossinschol. I suggest that you just try to make it through school, get the help you need from adults in the building, and then you can get a good job, make lots of money and be happy.

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