Fun With Alternate Spellings

Spelling rules in English are so inconsistent, that you can be forgiven mistakes. Here are some understandable mistakes that may cause social awkwardness:

Fallacy means a false belief. If you try spelling it phallicy, you would have a false penis.

Be careful not to spell horrible like this: whoreable, especially around any prostitute friends.

Sometimes a slight misspelling can change dramatic prose into medieval homo-erotica, as in “He entered swiftly into into the night,” vs. “He entered swiftly into the knight.”

So, while computer spell checks are very useful, you can see how proper spelling can avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.

For example, in baseball, a foul ball is replayed with a new pitch, but a fowl ball would just mean the ball hit a bird, and the play would continue. Furthermore, a baseball player might be a terrible singer although his pitch is perfect, but a singer who also has perfect pitch might not be able to throw a baseball at all. Even more confusing is that a petulant baseball player might hold up a game by throwing a bawl instead of a ball, causing a brawl, and a singer may perform at a ball while having no use for balls of the baseball or any other sort.

And a little baseball tip: There’s no basis for a bassist being on the bases, although bassists are known to have perfect pitch.

While I’m dispensing advice, eating lox and cream cheese would be far kinder to your teeth than eating locks and cream cheese, even if you had lots of cream cheese. And cream cheese can come from different lots – you should check the packaging. This shouldn’t be confused with the Lot river in France which, if made of cream cheese, would be problematic.

Finally, although it may be true that she sells sea shells by the sea shore, if she’s waiting for the serf to bring in more shells, she’s about 300 years too late.

Click this daisy: dasy to see how altering the spelling of political phrases can improve their meanings.


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