Get Your Business Name Here

Whether it’s the cleverly morbid “Curl Up And Dye,” or the unappealingly wacky “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow,” there seems to be an unwritten law that all hair salons in the United States have to have puns or other word plays for their names. What if all businesses operated with this requisite? I have provided some suggested names of businesses that want to follow the lead of hair salons*.

  • A sign making company: Signs of the Time
  • Remarkable: a dry erase board company
  • A restaurant: Rest Your Aunt
  • An automobile repair shop: Auto Body Experience
  • Catacombs: a company that makes combs for cats
  • Shoe stores:
    • Sole Mates
    • Well Heeled
    • Heel the World
    • Laced With Love
  • An advocacy group trying to sneak Medicare For Everyone, also called “Medicare Part E,” into health legislation: Surprise Part E
  • A fast food joint: The Queasy Meal Gets the Grease
  • A soda machine specializing in small soft drinks for young women: Mississippi Your Minnesota
  • An optometrist in Rhode Island: Rhode Eyeland
  • A recycled carpet store: Ex Rugs Hocked and Sold**
  • A liquor store: Chuggers Can Be Boozers
  • I’ve been thinking about the expression, “A bird in the nest is worth two in the bush,”*** and it occurs to me that A Nerd at his Best is Worth Blue in the Tush, although I can’t think of what type of store would use that particularly inane name. Maybe a tattoo place that specializes in marking nerds with blue tattoos on their bottoms.
  • A cat trainer: Faster Pussycat, Kill! Kill!

*If you would like to purchase any of these names for your business, please contact me – if your business involves chocolate, vintage punk rock records, or both, I’d be up for a trade!

**I realize that not everyone will get these puns. They may seem especially perplexing to people who did not grow up in the United States. I’d be happy to explain any of them in response to your comments.

***See comments, below.

More Strange Business Names Here:

dasy

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5 Responses to Get Your Business Name Here

  1. Jeffersonic (DSK) says:

    Another humorous post, makin’ me larf.

    “A Nerd At His Best Is Worth Blue In The Tush” could be a computer store that gives out free blue (Bluetooth activated) dildos with every large purchase.

    Here in Florida we have the hair salons; “The Hair Garden” and “The Hairport”

    Not to be confused with these, in Alexandria, VA there used to be a restaurant called “The Mustache Cafe”.

    Out in the world are pet stores which have names that are uncomfortably close to sounding like fast food restaurants: “Bird on a Stick”, “Pup in a Tub”.

    Within a three mile radius in Merrillville, IN (circa 1998), these businesses were functioning:

    “Booze Liquors” (which went as far as having a caricature of a drunk in a top hat with ‘inebriation’ bubbles rising from his face) I have a photo somewhere of this.

    “The Log Jam”. A restaurant! What the fuck? Lumberjack food? A menu catering to diarrhea sufferers? I never ate there, I would’ve had to have been desperate, but I do wish, on the blood of all the saints I never believed in, that I had photographed their sign.

    “Super Chinese Restaurant” (it was.)

    “Dusty Old Mule” (a Bar)

    “Bird on a Stick” (Pet store)

    “Hammer The Jammers” (a vinyl record store)

    Like

  2. Paul says:

    My inner (deeply inner) picky person notes that it is “A bird in the HAND is BETTER than two in the bush.” Comparing what you now have to twice as much you might be able to get.

    So what axiom or moral principal would “A bird in the nest is worth two in the bush.” refer to?

    Like

    • EricIndiana says:

      Oh God – you’re totally right. Not that you are God – it’s just an expression. I don’t know what I was thinking . How about “A Nerd in the Band is better than a Shoe in the Tush”?

      Like

  3. Divya says:

    I want d suggestions for a construction company…D name should be unique and fancy too..for eg:alpha, mars etc..It would be better if it s a single letter word…

    Like

  4. I WANT TO START A CRYSTAL MEMONTOS AND TROPHY D.. NAME SHOULD BE UNIQUE AND FANCY TOO IT WOULD BE A SINGLE LETTER WORD…..

    Like

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