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Hampster: a hamster that lives in a hamper

Altercation: the altering (spaying or neutering) of a cat

Evidence that we value violence:

We tell kids that hitting is wrong, yet singers want hits. In fact, smash hits are best; webmasters want as many hits as possible – they actually desire unique hits.  Baseball players want hits, even grand slams. You want a cute person to hit on you… after all, that could be a real kick. Maybe it’s a person with a really ripped body who has a crush on you.

Your teacher tells you  to use bullet points in your paper.

Some people go out intending to have a smashing good time, even to get smashed. When they finally go home they just want to crash.

Actors go on stage hoping to break a leg.

A good joke ends with a punch line.

Although people generally try not to get knocked down, some people try to get knocked up.

You can have a blast at a bash. You can even enjoy the punch.

Filmmakers work hard to get a good shoot.

If you’re really happy, you may be slap happy, or even punchy.

Confusing traffic signs:

There’s a sign in my neighborhood that says, “SLOW CHILDREN.” But slow children are easy to avoid; I am much more worried about hitting the fast children.

Down the road, there’s a sign that says, “STOP AHEAD.” I have looked all over and have never seen a head to stop.

Further down the street, we have a “BLIND DRIVE” sign. I try very hard to close my eyes at that point and do as the sign says, but it scares my passengers.

On the highway by a mountainside, there is a “FALLING ROCKS” sign. It’s silly to warn us against falling rocks since they come too fast to do anything about it. If they had a “FALLEN ROCKS” sign, that would make more sense, since I can take actions to avoid rocks that have fallen in the road.

The letters in “American Flag” can be rearranged to spell “Fig Anal Cream.”

“British Petroleum” can be rearranged to spell, “Oil spurt hit berm.” It can also spell, “Better oil his rump.” I don’t know what that means, but it seems significant.

This daisy leads to more word musings:

dasy

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