Have You Had Your Fried Twinkies Today?

Today I took two children to the local fair.

The Fair is about taking things to extremes. It is fun to swing, therefore we strap ourselves into violently convulsing machines that spin us around so fast as to uncomfortably reposition our internal organs and fluids.

Music is enjoyable, so why not go on a ride that has music blaring so loud as to induce permanent hearing loss?

Sunshine is nice, so why not burn your skin and risk melanoma by staying out in the blistering heat all day?

We like to pay for services, so why not pay $10 per person to get in and $4 to $5 per person for each 1-minute ride?  In this way I was able to spend about $75 for two children to enjoy themselves for several minutes, interspersed with waiting in lines and bathroom trips.

The Fair takes our love of fried food and sugar to a tantalizingly perverse extreme as well. I purchased a deep fried Twinkie and deep fried candy bars for the kids. I made sure the diabetic one pressed his pump a few times first. Yes, I know this sounds like child abuse when I write it now, but it was irresistible: The Twinkies and Milky Way bars were stuck on a stick, dipped in sweet batter & plunged into an ancient, grimy vat of reused boiling fat. Then, they were sprinkled with powdered sugar for good measure. Life imitates art (which was mocking life to begin with).

Yes, what’s not to love at the local fair? A family can spend two week’s pay in an afternoon, and experience some of the extremes of modern American life. That might not sound fair, but it is – otherwise they would call it something else.

Perhaps this would be a good time to check out my Ice Cream Ball idea. Click the daisy:


4 Responses to Have You Had Your Fried Twinkies Today?

  1. Daisy's mom says:

    little stuffed animals are nice, so 6′ tall ones must be better.


  2. nobleone247 says:

    At our county fair you can purchase an all day ride ticket for $25 so if you have kids you know will be on the rides all day that may save you a little money. I prefer to save my money for the fried food and the demolition derby, which actually came with our fair ticket…OH and the beer of course. I can do without the rides 🙂


  3. Seedy Petey says:

    wholesomeness where art thou?


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