(United States, 2010) Selma Small, a woman who is not famous, has changed her religious views. This comes in the wake of the massive shock of author Anne Rice’s announcement that she has slightly altered her own religious beliefs.
Small, a native of Indiana and amateur dessert-maker, said, “When I heard the news all over the TV and radio about Anne Rice, I had to think about my own thoughts.” Small did just that, to the confusion of local people from around the world. “I haven’t even got over Anne Rice’s change in her beliefs,” said Jim, a man with a mustache. Small explained that after Anne Rice changed from Christianity to atheism back to Christianity and most recently to believing in the teachings of the Church but not being a member of the Church, Small had to announce some sort of change. “I thought, if the world can withstand Anne Rice declaring that she believes in Christ but not in some of the things that the Church does, I have to come clean with some new way of believing, too. I decided that I believe in Santa Clause but not in Christmas.”
News of Selma Small’s change in her religious views has swept through the otherwise inert Indiana village of Indianapolis. “She told me this morning,” said her son Jim, who does not have a mustache. “My jaw dropped. But it does that sometimes – it’s an old injury.”
Others, inspired or perhaps rabbled-roused by Small have begun to reassess their own beliefs. “I used to chew gum,” said Elaine Cranberry, a person. “But now I don’t. At least not today.”
Where this will all lead, nobody knows. But one thing is certain. While the Earth has weathered the BP oil spill and massive flooding in Pakistan, it would prove too much for our planet if Anne Rice decided to think something else.
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“I decided that I believe in Santa Clause but not in Christmas.”
I decided that I believe in vampires, but not heterosexual vampires.