I need more traffic to this blog, so it’s time to write another post with the word “virgin” in the title. For regular followers of Daisybrain, you may remember that Virgin Google Phrases are ones that, astoundingly, do not appear in a Google web search. For those who have followed a lead to the title of this post for other reasons, I’m sorry to disappoint; when you are done with your other internet activity, you are invited to come back to read the following phrases which apparently no one has ever written before:
We start today with an obvious one, “My head is made of sausage.” No one has ever expressed that in writing, on line. Perhaps it’s not possible to express yourself if your head is filled with sausage, or even if you have that belief. Remember, when searching for virgin googlisms, enclose the phrase in quotation marks to be sure you are searching exclusively for that phrase. Here are some more:
- “Please fold the pancake.” There are over 22,000 results for “Fold the pancake,” but apparently crepe chefs aren’t known for their politeness.
- “Start eating scrod.” It seems that scrod is not known as a health food, since no one has yet given this simple advice on line.
- “Put dried spaghetti in your hair.” I find it odd that no one has ever written this, since years ago, at a party, I inserted all of the dried spaghetti from a box I found in the host’s kitchen into my hair. It helps to have curly hair. Even the more generic, “dried spaghetti in hair,” does not appear on line. Kids these days just don’t know what fun is.
- Near-Virgin: “What has come out of my butt?” appears exactly once on line. I am afraid to read the article.
- “Idaho is a real state” does not appear, but, “Idaho is not a real state” does. You decide.
- No results for: “Republicans are capable of empathy,” “Republicans are capable of compassion,” or, “Republicans know what love is.” But before you hoot & holler, Google reveals that Democrats are also incapable of empathy, compassion or understanding love. Frighteningly, there are also no results for “Republicans don’t want to kill you,” or “Democrats don’t want to kill you.”
It occurs to me that surfing for phrases on line can reveal a lot about the collective unconscious of the world. For example, “the collective unconscious of the world” is apparently aware of its own existence, yet until I hit the “publish” button in about 13 seconds, no one out there has ever posted the phrase, “More Google Virgins!”