Stray Thoughts

Here are some random thoughts that on their own don’t deserve a blog post but together are a powerful blend of thoughtiness.

  • To solve the problem of embarrassing situations that result from forgetting peoples’ names, all people should have the same name. I suggest “Bob.” Either that, or “Xuĕ”.
  • Has there ever been a wedding in which the pastor pronounced the couple, “Woman and husband”?
  • After 10,00 years, we are stuck with just four basic eating utensils: chopsticks, fork, spoon, and knife. Will we invent something new in the next 10,000 years?

Here are some common, silly phrases:

Fairly Unique, or Somewhat Unique (Make up your mind – is it unique or isn’t it?)

Over Exaggerated (Is there an “under-exaggerated”?)

No Duh (Apparently, this has the same meaning as just “duh.”)

Free Gift (Gifts are, by definition free, but advertisers don’t care)

I Could Care Less (Mysteriously, this is short for, “I couldn’t care less.”)

Same Difference (Huh? Do you mean “No difference”?)

  • Of all the nuts in the bag of mixed nuts, Brazil nuts are the least favored by the most people. How does this fact (which I am alleging with no scientific evidence) affect the self-esteem of people who grow Brazil nuts for a living? Do they feel like brussel sprout farmers? Do they constantly have to reassure themselves that there are people out there who love their product?
  • I just discovered a caffein-free alternative to coffee, called, “soyfee.” While the smell and taste are at first repugnant, if you mix in some sweetener, such as agave nectar, and some vanilla soy milk, it’s not so bad & you can even pretend it’s coffee. However, the name is awkward. My suggestion is that they drop the “y,” add back the other “f” and call it “Soffee.” I give the Soyfee people this tip free of charge.

And finally, I leave you with this:

I don’t know how to make a snowflake, but I’m certain that fire would not be a useful tool; likewise, I don’t know how to achieve world peace, but violence is not a tool likely to help us reach that goal.

Must you go so soon? Stick around and visit the post that lies just beneath this flower:

dasy

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