Headlines I’d Like to See:

Men Agree to Stop Urinating Standing Up

5,000 Year Old Failed Experiment Called “Messy”

Boehner Pulls Head Out of Ass

Stops Trying to Destroy the Economy to Defeat Obama; Agrees Name is Pronounced “Boner”

When We Were Pets

Prominent Dogs and Cats Discuss Life of Their Ancestors

Radio Industry Pays Reparations to Ramones

Admits Band was world’s greatest Rock’n’Roll Group; Apologizes for Ignoring Them

God Is Asleep

Realization From World Religious Leaders Explains the Last 2,000 Years

Republican Presidential Hopeful Apologizes For Pledge Incident

“Didn’t Mean” to Hold Hand Over Heart

President Kucinich Will Not Seek 2nd Term

With Universal Abolition of War, One-Time Secretary of Peace Says, “My Job is Done”

Court: 4-Finger Rule Discriminates Against Short-Armed People

Anarchy in Schools as Shorts inch Dangerously Close to Butt Area

Conservative Leader Resigns Post

Apologizes for Saying “Things were better” When Same-Sex Couples Could Not Marry; Enters Rehab

Before Solar:

A Look Back at Gas and Hybrid Vehicles

Men Elected to Congress In Historic Numbers

Now Hold Close to 20% of Seats

Jesus Returns!

And He’s Still Jewish

Look! A magic daisy. One click on its mystical petals will transport you to another Daisybrain post:

dasy

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One Response to Headlines I’d Like to See:

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