As usual, I feel a compelling urge to blog without enough “curious thoughts and observations” to blog about. I have a few posts started – a post of improved words, like “Slackadaisical” instead of “Lackadaisical.” For another post, I’ve been mulling over the idea that culture would come to a standstill if we cured mental illness – the implication that some people have to suffer through personally debilitating conditions in order for the culture as a whole to advance in any interesting ways. I have also started compiling a list of funny headlines about Rick Santorum. Here’s what I have so far on that front:
Is the internet definition of Santorum subconsciously affecting news editors? Take a look at these actual headlines:
- Santorum Surges (just about every news source leading up to the Iowa caucus)
- Santorum unloads on the stump (Washington Post)
- Santorum Runs Hard and Long (Demoines Register)
But as I searched the internet, I soon realized that others have already noticed the humor in these Santorum headlines and it feels a somewhat pointless to continue. So, I’m a bit stuck.
That beings us to my brain experiment. What if I did everything I could think of to enhance my cognitive abilities – the proper amount of sleep, no sweets (they seem to make me spacey), and various drugs. I’m not talking about illegal & dangerous drugs, because they’re, well, illegal & dangerous. I’m talking about traditional herbs & potions that are supposed to help your brain function. If I super-dosed on natural brain enhancing treatments, would a brilliant post emerge from the heretofore untapped creative recesses of my mind? Let’s find out. Here is the regimen:
- Play a round of brain-exercising games from the site Lumosity
- Drink ginko biloba tea and consume the following supplements which I found whilst rummaging about through my kitchen cabinets:
- “Brain & Memory Tonic” extract (again, ginko, plus gotu kola, rosemary & sage)
- “Mind Force,” made from mushrooms that are supposed to be good for your brain
- “Will Power” pills made of herbs I’ve never heard of, like polygala root and asparaus root
- Something called “Diamond Mind” extract, whose label is too worn and the words too tiny for me to read
- ginko biloba extract both in capsule and tablet form
- Get plenty of sleep
Now, I can just hear the comments from my medically-inclined readers warning people not to consume everything they find in health food stores that have the word “brain” in their labels. But this is an experiment and, in any case, these supplements all have really tiny amounts of actual herbs in them. If nothing else, I may get a good placebo kick out of taking them all.
The idea is that my subconscious will work on a blog post while I sleep. Then, tomorrow, I shall exercise in the morning, eat a light, obnoxiously nutritious breakfast, take all of these supplements again, with more ginko tea, and commence to write the greatest prose ever to emerge from my mind or for the collective unconscious of all of humanity.
So that’s the plan. Tune in tomorrow night (Sunday, January 8th) or later to see the results, if any.