How the Internet will Doom Mitt Romney

Perhaps George Bush just scraped by. I remember when webmasters collectively worked to have the phrase, “miserable failure” direct people to the Bush White House site. Bush still managed to get Republican secretaries of state to declare him re-elected. But at this point in our internetcentric culture, you simply can’t become President of the United States if your name is Santorum and the #1 Google result for Santorum is, well, this.

Likewise, I cannot imagine a world in which a person is elected President when Googling his name leads one to this definition: “To defecate in terror.” This is especially true since this is not a random act of cruelty – it is a reference to a practically incomprehensible disregard for the life of another, committed by Mitt Romney. This very public vandalism of Romney‘s name is a constant reminder that Romney actually strapped a cage, containing his dog, to the roof of his car and drove to Canada, only to be stopped by his son noticing the fecal matter running down the window of the car when the dog defecated in terror. The metaphor is glaring; all 99% of us are like the dog strapped to the roof of the luxuery vehicle of that comfortably speeds the 1% down the highway of wealth. Or something like that.

The point is, that as more and more people comment on the fact that Romney’s name leads to this unpleasant Google link, the definition will continue to climb in Google’s results*. I for one, would not add to this phenomenon by intentionally writing Romney over and over again, linked to this Google result for Romney. After all, Daisybrain, as its readers know, is a completely apolitical vehicle for me to express my curious thoughts and observations about things like Mitt Romney‘s name, not to pass judgment on despicable acts of animal cruelty committed Romney or to suggest that this is an indication of Romney‘s character, or even to say that Romney did this or Romney did that.

Oh, Romney, Romney, Romney. I wish you well.

*Currently the #1 result, ahead of the official Romney website

For more on how to define Mitt Romney, see this.


2 Responses to How the Internet will Doom Mitt Romney

  1. misslena says:

    OK, that’s funny. Can Spreading Gingrich get some love?


  2. EricIndiana says:

    It’s #1! After an ad for mitromney dot com and the latest AP poll results for the Republican primary, now gives us the first Google result for “Romney”.


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