Products I’d like to see & New Childhood Disorders

    1. Vagisil For Men – sold in a blue bottle

  1. Belly Button Lint Screen
  2. Placebo Pills
  3. Cialess, to avoid embarrassments that can occur, for example, when boys are called to the front of the class to do a math problem on the board
  4. 3-D Audio Description, so the blind can enjoy 3-D movies as well. It would be a narration with things like, “Ahhhh! It’s coming really close!”
  5. Two-Way Egalitarian Hands-Free Dog Leash: It would have a loop at each end, one for your dog’s neck, the other for yours
  6. Steel-Toed Socks – The comfort of socks with the durability of steel
  7. Outdoor ant feeders
  8. Serious Putty
  9. A decorative flat screen TV with no picture or sound – all the status with none of the annoying TV shows
  10. Freeze-dried water: just add water to rehydrate

Future childhood syndrome diagnoses:

  • “Childhood Laziness” will be considered a qualifying condition for special education services, requiring special accommodations and treatable through an intensive drug regimen. The name of the condition will later be changed to “Ambition Deficit Disorder.”
  • What we used to call “a bad attitude” in adolescents will now be clinically diagnosed as “Negative Affect Symptomatic of Teenage Years,” or NASTY.
  • Refusing to return the greetings of passing adults used to be considered bad manners. It will soon be understood as “Oppositional Behavior Learned In Various Institutions Observed Ubiquitously in Schools,” or OBLIVIOUS.

And now this:

dasy1

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: