10 step secret to enlightenment


  1. If you don’t already have one, change your name to an Indian name. This can be either from the country of India or from Native America. Or both: Running Ashwaganda
  2. Insert the word “energy” into every sentence, Running Ashwaganda
  3. With positive energy, insert the word “vibration” into every sentence.
  4. With positive energy at a higher vibration, insert the word “healing” into every sentence.
  5. With positive healing energy, repeat some meaningless physical ritual, such as spinning in circles 21 times a day, at a high vibrational level.
  6. Follow the teachings of a long dead master of immortality (paying attention to the positive vibrational healing energy).
  7. Tuning in to your higher vibrational healing energy, add the word “consciousness” to the rest of the gibberish in your sentences.
  8. Purchase an endless supply of fetishistic objects decorated with symbols representing the healing energy of higher vibrations of consciousness.
  9. Surround yourself by people whose energies vibrate at high levels of healing consciousness.
  10. Do not follow any 10-step guide to enlightenment, Running Ashwaganda, no matter how high the consciousness of vibration of positive healing energy.

Still in search of other-wordly truth? Behind this flower lies the ancient wisdom of the First People:

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