The Wisdom of the Internet


Everyone knows that if you want to learn something, you don’t go to a book or a community elder, you go to the internet. Here are some enlightening truths about our collective cultures from Google:

  • The phrase (with quotes) “the benefits not procrastinating” gets exactly zero hits on Google, while the phrase (with quotes) “the benefits procrasting” gets 4,700,000 in 0.33 seconds.
  • “I’d rather be fat” retrieves 205,000 results, while “I’d rather be thin” gets a mere 73,100.
  • “Money is the source of all evil”: 3,670,000 but “Money is the source of all good”: 4,300,000. Go figure.
  • “I hate people”: 112,000,000. How about “I love people”? About half as many hits – 77,000,000
  • “I am better looking than you”: 3,700,000 while “You are better looking than me” clocks in at just 426,000.
  • The simple phrase, “I care” appears 32,600,000 times online, while “I don’t care” towers at 1,470,000,000 (one billion four hundred seventy million).

I think that pretty much sums up our composite cultural attitudes.

What else can you learn from the internet? People apparently believe “”ice cream is good for you” (48,000) by a rate of 2 1/2 to one over “ice cream is bad for you” (18,600).  And, “Obama is the devil” appears 2,800,000. How about “Lucifer is the devil,” a belief that goes back thousands of years? 541,000 hits.

In other internet news, “The United States is a country” gets a respectable 17,100,000 hits. However, “New York is a country” beats it out at 41,000,000 and “Texas is a country” gets 39,200,000 hits. But California is a bigger country than any of them at 41,400,000 hits.

And finally, the internet tells us 304,000 times that “bad is good,” 140,000 times that “good is bad,” 110,000 that “mean is nice,” and 719,000 times that “up is down.”

So, who needs school? All culture and knowledge can be learned on line. By the way, “Who needs school?” appears nearly 600,000 times while “School is good” punches in at just over 93,000.

For sentences that never appear online outside of the Daisybrain blog, take a peek beneath this flower:


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