Wordup, Digitons!


Here are some disjointed word thoughts for you to ponder… or not.

  • Don’t you have to lax before you can relax?
  • Humans are evolving into Digitons. I know this because the biological part of humans has a much smaller presence than their digital imprint. I can hang out with the digital versions of my “Friends” regardless of whether the biological prototype is awake or even alive. And, most of the biological unit’s time is spent interfacing with its digital counterparts. So, I have determined that they are evolving to a digital species, which I digitally dub, “Digitons”.
  • You can’t regress until you have gressed.
  • Why do we say, “Go to bed,” but we need an article for “Go to the bathroom”? Why not just, “Go to bathroom”? Or give the bed the “the” (“Go to the bed”)? Let’s keep it consistent folks! I’m sure this bothers somebody else out there… no? Oh well.
  • Dictator = Dic + Tater. Dic is Latin for “tell” or “say,” as in dictate and diction. Tator, or “tater”, is a mid-18th century term for potato, still used by school lunch officials in their infamous “tater tots”. Therefore, “Dictator” means Talking Potato. Mr. Potato Head is a dictator. Whoever is in charge of Egypt when you read this is likely a talking potato. That’s language for ya.
  • Food service customers can be neatly divided into four categories of personality. And to make things easy, they will announce their category right upfront. When placing an order, a customer will begin in one of four ways:
    • “I’d like….”
    • “I want….”
    • “I’ll have….”
    • “Give me….”
      • Which one are you?
  • Before you can resort to war, grammar requires that you first sort it. I suggest sorting wars into four stages:
    • The Build-up, when the government is calling the leader of the opposing nation a “madman/woman” and comparing him/her to Hitler. In this phase, 87% of the population is naturally opposed to going to war, and huge anti-war protests take place.
    • The Invasion, where the government ignores the will of its own people and finds a pretext to strike the other nation either in retaliation for an alleged attack or to prevent them from attacking. The government works to associate opposition to the policy of war with opposition to the troops. In this stage, loyalty to the nation overwhelms rational thought and 87% of the public support the war. Those few protesters left on the street are spat at, threatened and accused of supporting the enemy.
    • The Disenchantment, when the general public realizes that as the war drags on, some of their own people are dying, not just people from other countries. Public opinion sways against the war and it’s no longer considered unpatriotic to call for the war’s end. Those who formerly supported the war and yelled at anti-war protesters neglect to apologize to them.
    • Is it Still a War? This is a modern 4th stage, when the war is kind of over, most foreign troops have withdrawn, a weak government has been put in place in the vanquished country, but people are still blowing each other up and it’s all very foggy as to when or if the war really ended or will ever end.

Well, there you have it, some thought about words, written entirely out of words. Not exactly a funny post, but why does the adjective form of the word fun refer to humor? And don’t you have to fer before you can refer? And….

Click the flower!


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