- Are dogs really marking their territories when we take them for walks or are we using dogs to mark our territories?
- One of my childhood treasures was the 1969 comedy album, How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You’re Not Anywhere at All. I now realize the answer to this question: Quantum Physics.
- Due to patriarchal culture, we never hear that so & so is the male [insert famous woman’s name here]. So, we hear things like, “Shelby Fero is like a female Robin Williams” but never “Robin WIlliams is a male Shelby Fero.” Well, today, I finally saw a headline on cnn.com that breaks this trend: “Is Cruz the male Sarah Palin?” Perhaps this is the first crack in our male-centric culture that is a sign of true egalitarianism down the road. Maybe.
- Why do we have laws forbidding cruelty to cute animals, like kittens, but when it comes to lobsters, it’s routine to keep them half-alive for days and then to tear their heads of with our bare hands or throw them, live, into boiling water on cooking shows like Chopped? Wait – I just answered the question… Lobsters need to grow some fur and learn to chase bits of foil and strings around.
- Screw driver, hammer, drill… Every tool you can think of sounds like a sexual position or act.
- If Earth were like planets in scifi shows, we’d live on planet Human and all 7 billion of us would speak Human.
- Do dolphins call this “Planet Water”?
Words that with slight alterations in spelling change their meaning completely, usually for the worse:
- Penal Colony: Penile Colony
- Lipbalm: Lip Bomb
- Dastardly: Bastardly
- Army Corps: Army Corpse
- Analyst: Anal List
- Therapist: The Rapist (Spaces are important, too.)
And finally, sometimes alternate words make no difference in sentence meaning:
Wire ewe naught sub scribed two day see bray inn?
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