Thoughts that Recently Leaked from my Brain….

leaky brain

  • Are dogs really marking their territories when we take them for walks or are we using dogs to mark our territories?

  • One of my childhood treasures was the 1969 comedy album, How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You’re Not Anywhere at AllI now realize the answer to this question: Quantum Physics.
  • Due to patriarchal culture, we never hear that so & so is the male [insert famous woman’s name here]. So, we hear things like, “Shelby Fero is like a female Robin Williams” but never “Robin WIlliams is a male Shelby Fero.” Well, today, I finally saw a headline on that breaks this trend: “Is Cruz the male Sarah Palin?” Perhaps this is the first crack in our male-centric culture that is a sign of true egalitarianism down the road. Maybe.
  • Why do we have laws forbidding cruelty to cute animals, like kittens, but when it comes to lobsters, it’s routine to keep them half-alive for days and then to tear their heads of with our bare hands or throw them, live, into boiling water on cooking shows like Chopped? Wait – I just answered the question… Lobsters need to grow some fur and learn to chase bits of foil and strings around.
  • Screw driver, hammer, drill… Every tool you can think of sounds like a sexual position or act.
  • If Earth were like planets in scifi shows, we’d live on planet Human and all 7 billion of us would speak Human.
  • Do dolphins call this “Planet Water”?

Words that with slight alterations in spelling change their meaning completely, usually for the worse:

  1. Penal Colony: Penile Colony
  2. Lipbalm: Lip Bomb
  3. Dastardly: Bastardly
  4. Army Corps: Army Corpse
  5. Analyst: Anal List
  6. Therapist: The Rapist (Spaces are important, too.)

And finally, sometimes alternate words make no difference in sentence meaning:

Wire ewe naught sub scribed two day see bray inn?

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