Wordination

Iron is both an essential nutrient and a health hazard linked to heart disease and cancer. But they should have known about this contradiction – after all, iron forms the basis of the word ironic.

Asinine is nine times more powerful than ass, making it a much more effective invective.

Before you can be a Republican, don’t you first have to be a Publican?

If you get paid to find something, the thing you find is, by definition, profound.

Similarly, when an amateur noun starts getting paid, it becomes a pronoun.

If someone has a bad hairdo, call it a hairdon’t.

If you rejoin, you can become a remember of the Diculous Club.

A figurine sounds all dainty and precious, until you realize it’s just Fig Urine.

How can I enjoy my weekends, with a big turd sitting in the middle of Saturday?

Renewed: When you take off your clothes, again.

No wonder injury attorneys are so prevalent – they see a jury in every injury.

And finally, be warned: There is a cult in every school faculty.

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