My Condition

My doctor has diagnosed me with clinical laziness, which explains a lot of my problems with procrastination. Now, you may think that laziness is a joke, like “restless leg syndrome,” or “diabetes”. But clinical laziness a very real condition that affects millions of people, robbing the world of billions of hours of productivity each and every day.

A lot of lazy people, such as myself, get blamed for their own laziness. “You lazy son of a bitch!” my teachers would yell at me in preschool. To this day, there is still a stigma attached to laziness.

Some laziness activists have had enough. They believe that we shouldn’t be treating laziness like a disease at all, but as a special difference to be proud of. “I’m lazy and I’m here and I’m not going to do my homework tonight!” And why not? We lazy people have experienced derision and disrespect all our lives. You may have heard the term, “People of Inactivity.” Many of my lazy brothers and sisters have begun to use this term to describe our people.

Personally, I am undecided as to whether to treat my laziness as a medical condition or a badge of honor. I first began writing this post in 1968, on my Selectric typewriter. I have a lot more to say on the subject, but it’s now 1995, and I think I should just go ahead and hit “Publish”.

Click the daisy:


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