One of my proudest accomplishments was bringing smoothies to the bustling metropolis of Wakefield, Rhode Island. At the time, I was the executive chef of the Alternative Food Co-op. I don’t know what the Founders meant back in the 70s by “alternative food.” Nobody who worked there in the 2000s liked the name of the place, but we were inexplicably stuck with it.
I had a free hand to invent various vegan foods, mostly involving chocolate. For example, I created the Jitter Shake, made from blending coffee beans, chocolate syrup, non-dairy ice cream and chocolate soy milk. It was well named but, sadly, Wakefield was not ready for the Jitter Shake and it remains one of my million dollar ideas that languishes in obscurity.
My smoothies, however, were a big success. I quite vainly state here that I, the author of this post, invented the perfect smoothie. Unlike every other alleged smoothie sold in stores across the country, my smoothies contain no ice, which makes them better. There are four ingredients to the perfect smoothie, and I am about to reveal them to you. I carefully experimented to establish the perfect ratio of ingredients, but subsequent experience has shown me that it really doesn’t matter; it’s all good.
Blend, ’til smooth, preferably in a good bender that can crush frozen foods:
- 1 overflowing cup frozen berries/fruit
- about 1/2 cup soft juice, you know, like mango or papaya, or mango-papaya
- 1 banana (at the Co-op, we chopped & froze them for an extra thick smoothie, but it’s great with fresh banana, too)
- 1 small container, usually 6 oz., yogurt or soy yogurt. Vanilla Silk makes for great smoothies, as does Liberté yogurts.
That’s it. Yes, you can add weird things, like peanut butter or spirulina, or fairy dust, but the basic 4-ingredient recipe, above, will provide you with the best smoothies on this or any other planet I’ve been to recently.
Now for a completely fake recipe: