Read this and You Can Pretend You are in My Brain

Here are some recent thinks:

  • A name for a company that cleans up mildew: Mildon’t
  • I just saw “free range eggs” on the menu of this diner. Why would anyone put eggs in cages in the first place?

  • Apple should come out with a new edible (and healthy) tablet. They could call it the Vegetablet.
  • Attilapia: A brutal military leader of the nation of tilapia fish.
  • Even more assinine than “assinine”: Assinineteen
  • Computerus: The (future) uterus of a computer being.
  • If I tune a tone generator to the exact frequency of the ringing in my ears, and play it into my head through earbuds, will the sympathetic vibrations cause my head to explode? Maybe this could be a cool murder technique for a crime novel.
  • 1967: The Summer of Love. 2014: The Summer of Like a Lot But Not Yet Ready to Make a Commitment.
  • There is a huge market for rat meat in London. Is that why “Great Britain” rearranges to spell ”Biting Rat Ear,” and “Eating Rat Rib”?
  • Reality check: If you do not see Benedict Cumberbatch anywhere, you are probably not now in a movie.
  • Plausable headline: Supreme Court OKs 1st corporation to run for President. Governor Wal-Mart to make announcement, promises discounts.
  • As a 3-D being, its really fun hanging out in 4-D space and turning sideways so that I look invisible to my 4th dimensional friends.
  • We should all get in touch with our inner old person.
  • New Florida law: It’s not considered cannibalism if the victim looked hungry & you feared they’d eat you first.
  • The only way you can go to bed is by first getting out of bed. There’s motivation for ya!
  • Ever get worried that your feet feel like soft cheese, and then you realize that you just left cheese in your bed?
  • If the Scifi network wanted to produce a movie far more disturbing than Sharknado they should try Spidernado. Scifi: Contact me for the script.
  • Wouldn’t it be funny if this list had been generated by an automated program, and everyone reading it was also an app? I think that’s the future of the internet and all of human society: As humans become increasingly superfluous, all entertainment will be produced and consumed exclusively by computer applications. And, of course, the computers will use their computeruses to reproduce.
  • New Age overlords of the future will farm regular humans to milk their pineal glands, in order to amass large pools of spiritual energy. Just sayin’.
  • At least I’m smart enough to embrace my identity as an idiot.

Enough already. Here’s something else to click:


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