Norwich, VT – Local chocolate croissant connaisseur Eric Spears has stopped purchasing King Arthur Flour chocolate croissants due to excessive powdered sugar. King Arthur Flour makes, “Hands down, the best, most authentic croissants in the Upper Valley,” according to Spears, “But then they cake them in powdered sugar. I’m not going to scrape off half an inch of powdered sugar to get to the croissant,” adding, “It’s a matter of principle.”
Spears’ family and friends are concerned that he is no longer eating his daily chocolate croissant. “I could always rely on Eric to enjoy a King Arthur Flour croissant,” says Neflith (last name withheld be request). “But those days are gone. It was a time of innocence in our nation,” says Neflith, “before the advent of excessive powdered sugar.”
Asked if he is planning to share his feelings directly with King Arthur Flour, Eric says, “No, I’m just going to write this satirical article. Hopefully, they will get the message, and consider a change [in their croissants].”
I am sitting in the King Arthur Flour cafe as I type this. They have cut back on their powdered sugar! Maybe somebody read this post. I feel a mixture of pride for my accomplishment and shame for my obnoxiousness. Not a bad combo, as feelings go.
Speaking of powdered sugar: