So, the other day I attended a panel discussion in which one of the panelists boasted “35 years of experience” among the members of her department. People say this sort of thing a lot. Maybe you say it about the people you work with. It’s kind of like saying that a classroom of first graders has 22 years of experience in mathematics. Although the collective experiences of many people new to their jobs has value, it’s not quite the same as one person with all that experience.
Here are some other things you hear people say (and do) that make no sense:
- Anytime the President of the United States comes on TV to decry violence by states and individuals, it’s hard to take when you know that after the show, they’re on their way back to the White House to plan more bombings of people half-way across the globe.
- “Free gifts” that come with products that you have to pay money for.
- Those scam TV commercials that demand that you call “before midnight tonight,” or the fake FDA trial products that say call within the next 20 minutes, regardless of when or how often the same ad is aired.
- TV weather reporters driving in snow storms, telling people to stay off the roads.
- My first day as a high school student, I heard this announcement: “Please disregard the bell until it rings.”
- Parents who smack their kids to teach them not to hit their siblings.
- Adults who punish children for swearing, yet swear up a storm when they think the kids aren’t listening.
- Children separated from their friends and forced to eat silent lunch in the school’s public, central foyer, as punishment for their parents not signing their report cards. This actually happens at the school where I worked.
- Any other of the countless rules, reactions, punishments and behavior of teachers and administrators in schools that contradict their espoused values.
- People still clinging to the nonsensical excuse for homophobic bigotry that same-sex marriage somehow threatens heterosexual marriage.
Ummm… seems my light-hearted post idea has turned bitter and morose. This flower will take you to a happier post mocking culture: