School World Conversation

Previously on Daisybrain, I reported some funny things I overheard children say when I was teaching. I also posted, in the form of a poem called School World, some of the absurd things I heard from grown-ups working in schools. I have now combined the two lists of completely unrelated sentences and comments, into one fictitious conversation, called School World Conversation. Think of it like something you might overhear if you went to Zippy the Pinhead‘s school. It may not make literal sense, but it gives the over all impression that I got from attending and then working in public schools….

Child: “My life is over. My life has always been over. I just never realized it.”

Adult: “Please disregard the bell until it rings.”

Child: “Zach put yarn up his nose!”

Adult: “Take off your hat – it’s not Hat Day!”

Child: “Tristan called me a sicko just because I ate lipstick!”

Adult: “I know that look! I have a teenager of my own! I’m writing you up!”

Child: “Are you a regular person, or Jewish?”

Adult: “No spaghetti straps.”

Child: “The statue of delivery.”

Adult: “Four fingers above the knees.”

Child: “You have a para (educator) because you can’t say ‘no’.”

Adult: “His whole family is like that.”

Child: “Nobody likes me anymore, just because I’m stupid.”

Adult: “I know you want to save her, but she’s been like that since 4th grade.”

Child: “…when my great great great great great grandfather was alive… before there were kids in the world.”

Adult: “You are not here to be their friend.”

Child: “I’m going to call your wife and tell her I’m your daughter from your other family.”

Adult: “This year we will will turn the whole school into a testing factory.”

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I’m working on the opera version of School World Conversation. In the meantime, check this out: