I Feel Threatened

Editor’s note: This is probably a work of fiction. In any case, none of us here at Daisybrain condone violence or look down upon people for their beliefs. We thought it import to publish this story because we found it in a capsule and it appears to be a work of historical fiction written in the future.

Ever since the Government mandated that all citizens carry guns, Eric enthusiastically complied. For as long as he could remember, at least the last 70 years, he had been a disciple of nonviolence. He had marched in countless peace demonstrations, protesting each generation’s pointless war, and was an active member of the Resistance. But, when the Lower House of Trump passed the mandatory carry law, something finally snapped.

He not only carried a concealed, loaded handgun, he shot people with it. He would find someone he thought represented everything wrong with the world, someone who was clearly a Republican, walk top to that person and, in compliance with the national Stand Your Ground Law, Eric would shout, “I feel threatened!” and shoot the person dead. Eric figured he was doing the country a service by using their own laws against them.

To ferret out the ones deserving to die, Eric wore a big button on his jacket lapel that said, “Guns are the real enemy.” He wore the button into crowds in the whitest strip malls and county fairs he could find. He would simply wait for someone to accost him, shout “I feel threatened!” and shoot the guy dead. Occasionally the victim’s friend would reach for his own gun and Eric would have to shoot him dead, too.

Eric shot dozens of Republicans this way, never once being charged since the video footage captured him clearly believing he was being threatened. If he were ever to be arrested, Eric planned to say he thought the men he shot were Black. Eric was White and he figured this would be enough to convince the prosecutor not to press charges.

One day, Eric waited outside the Texas state house and shot an entire delegation of lawmakers dead. Ironically, they were unarmed at the time since there was an exemption to the gun carrying law in state houses.

By the time Eric retired from murder, he reckoned he had knocked off hundreds, if not thousands of people in the oppressor class. He began training young people to follow in his footsteps, and before they knew what had hit them, there wasn’t a scant Christian pro-death penalty anti-choice White bigot left in the country.

The end.

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