
Angry Fruit By Fotokolaj On Deviantart
Author’s note: The headline of this post was created for dramatic effect, but to stay on the safe side, we should follow the following:
- Appease the peas
- Choke the artichokes
- Beat the beets
- Date the dates
- Goose the gooseberries
- Mush the mushrooms
- Impeach the peaches
- Prune the prunes
- Bean the beans
- Pommel the pomelos
- Squash the squashes
- Split the split peas
- Snap the snap peas
- Let us lattice the lettuce
- Amaze the maize
- Net the nettles
- Lick the garlic
(:)(:)(:)(:)(:)(:)
Because I feel that anyone who accidentally arrived at this blog post deserves more than those horrible fruit and vegetable puns, here is a reprint of my wildly popular ode to fruit salad:
The ballad of fruit salad
is a sweet and citrus tune
sung by cowboy chefs
under the crescent moon
They sing of lonesome fruit
that might be good in pie
But when it’s in fruit salad
no one will even try
The ballad of fruit salad
for the fruit that’s left behind
a tribute to the grapefruit
lovingly scooped from its rind
They sing of pomegranates
that no one understands
those complex and selfless fruits
rejected by cowhands
Oh the ballad of fruit salad
is a sad and juicy song
For nothing could be sadder
than when fruit does not belong
Here’s a daisy portal to another blog post: