Things There Should Be

Here are some things that there should be:

  • Two names for two types of family – the family you came from, and the family you formed. The way things are now, we have sentences like, “Our family goes to my wife’s family. Then, I go to my family, but not with my family – they stay with her family.” I have been recently informed that the family you came from is called your “family of origin,” but that’s too remote sounding. How about “Parental Family” and “Self-Family”? Something. When you have the answer, post it in a comment, and I’ll tell the people in charge of speech.

  • Yoga should be called Human Origami.
  • Bungee ropes for store clerks. I thought of this when working at a store. The employee would be harnessed to elastic cords attached to ceiling tracks. The tension of the cord would lighten the load on the employee’s feet and would allow employees to effortlessly bound six to ten feet up in the air to grab items off top shelves for shoppers. They would feel like superheroes all day.
  • Bullet-proof vests for deer.
  • Museums should have blank, green pictures on their wall and give visitors special goggles that superimposed art over the green screen pictures. This way, one visitor could dial up, say, a Rembrandt collection, while another is viewing Van Gogh. Visitors would still have the experience of walking through a collection in a museum to see the art up close, but art wouldn’t have to be transported from museum to museum and could be preserved better.
  • Recognition software for fruits and vegetables, so we can get rid of those annoying stickers.


You should probably click the flower:


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