Men: How to Lower Your Libido!

First of all, this post isn’t going to be a joke about things that turn me off. This is actually a post about how to lower your sex drive. As anyone who has an electronic device knows, every post out there about male sex drive is about how to increase it. And, if you look up virtually ANY herb someone will claim that it increases sex drive, fertility, testosterone, libido, etc.

But apparently I am not like the rest of the planet. I don’t have a need to increase my sex drive. In fact, at this moment in my life, my sex drive serves no purpose and just gets in the way. I would prefer not to have any sex drive at all. Yes, I know, that runs counter to EVERYTHING about our culture. I guess I’m just a contrarian.

Now, I have nothing against people searching for ways to improve their sex lives. But you don’t need me for that – you have practically every other site on the internet for that. This post is for anyone out there who, like me, wants to lower their libido in order to improve their experience in life.

Here are some natural methods that I have found helpful in ridding myself of excess, unwanted sexual energy:


Most herbs promoted for increasing libido are energy-enhancing herbs. Inversely, herbs that calm you down can help to lower your sex drive. Here are some to try out*.

1. Skullcap

You can buy it as a dried herb, a capsule or a tincture. the dried herb can be used to make tea. It seems to cause drowsiness in larger quantities and can thus be used in the evening for sleep support.

2. Hops

Like skullcap, hops is often found in herbal sleep support tinctures and capsules. The dried herb can be used to make tea. Or beer.

3. Valerian

Same as above. Some people don’t like valerian – they say it gives them weird dreams. Also it doesn’t smell that great. It’s pretty good to help you relax for sleep. And if sex thoughts are interfering with a good night’s sleep, herbs like valerian, skullcap & hops can be very useful.

4. Rhemania

It’s a so-called adaptogen, which means it allegedly helps your body with stress and brings things into balance. I read somewhere that it may lower sex drive, so I include it.

5. Chaste Tree or Vitex

Used to regulate hormones for people in female bodies. The hope is that it can also lower testosterone. You’ll find it in women’s health sections at natural medicinal stores.

Sadly, nearly every other healthy herb has been used by people, especially men, for thousands of years to increase sex drive. Most of this is probably just a reflection of what men want out of herbs and how herbalists have marketed their products. But it’s frustrating for me, since I like herbs that may support kidney or brain health, etc., but I don’t want the generally coveted side effect of increased libido.

If your sex drive is fueling an unwanted use of pornography, or if you are suffering from other forms of sex addiction, you might try some non-herbal techniques as well.

Covenant Eyes is a very effective app that can control what you have access to online, as well as the times you have access to the internet. It will even send weekly reports of your online activity to a person of your choice so you can be sure to be embarrassed if you stray into porn.

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) and Sex Addiction Anonymous (SAA) are 12-step support programs that have chapters all over the United States. They can give you a framework for recovery from sex addiction.

There are also individual and group therapists for sex addiction. Attending therapy for sex addiction is a very supportive way to get a handle on understanding and dealing with unwanted sexual behavior.

There are reports that lowering testosterone can interfere with your overall energy and motivation in life. So, while the herbs I’ve mentioned might be helpful in taking off the edge of an over-active or annoyingly intrusive sex drive, I’d recommend changing your neural pathways. That’s done through behavioral changes – changes in habits that can be supported through a 12-step program or other sex addiction therapy. I think it’s impossible to make the changes you may want to make through sheer will power, without outside support.

Well, this post was… different, huh?

*I’m not a healthcare practitioner. Take everything I say with a grain of salt. This is all from personal experience, isn’t meant to diagnose or treat anything, isn’t supported by the FDA, you should consult an actual healthcare provider, blah blah blah.

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