Trumps’ Best War

Your base is in place

But that’s not a lock on the race 

You tried racist tweets

But still face defeat

Destroying the environment

Won’t prevent your forced retirement

If you can’t rely on ISIS,

Manufacture a new crisis

Ahmadinejad never sent you a birthday card

And President Rouhani thinks your hands are scrawny

So if polls got you down

A war with Iran will turn that around!

And Bolton has no aversion

To a Persion excursion

Since Iraq went so well

Damn your critics to hell

You wage the best war

You get the best score

The biggest and best

Puts to shame all the rest

Your ratings soar ahead

With record numbers of dead

They’ll call you a hero

And give Bernie a zero!

They’ll see your big brain

And forget John McCain

You’re number one

This war will be fun

You don’t need an election

You’re a goddam erection

But you are too clever

To be President forever

You can reach for more

With this new war

“Tzar of the Earth”

Is still a bit dearth

Emperor of Mars

Lord of the Stars

Tell NASA to plan it

Get off this loser planet

And you can be ruler

Of every preschooler

Out in that great void

On the best asteroid.

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