Lactose Avoidance and a Storied Story

I pride myself in my tolerance, so you can imagine my discomfort with the realization that I was lactose intolerant. My friend Amy Mercury helped me find some less harsh ways to express any condition. Instead of lactose intolerant, I am:

• Lactose Averse
• Lactose Contemptuous
• Lactose Illiberal
• Lactose Unindulgent
• Lactose Waspish

Alphabet Story

An apple always appreciates anything advertised as “Astronomical!”

I Kan’t SEE a Thing

Resently, the SEE key on my MakBook stopped working. This is annoying, but it kould have been worse. As you kan see, a ‘k’ or an ‘s’ is easily substituted, and for more formal kommuniation, I have taken to kopying and pasting the letter SEE. This takes up a bit of time, sine I kan’t just hit Kommand-SEE to kopy.

Stand Up and Be Discounted (is the name of this blog post)

Just like the @ sign for “at,” there should be signs for “before” and “after,” something like this: and

and

Here is some Trump Haiku:

1.

This Haiku is rigged

It is against Donald Trump

It is so unfair

Legendary Heroes: Top 5 Overused English Words of the 21st Century

I hate introductory paragraphs, so let’s get right to the list.

Legendary. This moniker applies to every famous defunct band, dead entertainer or artist. I think people mean “iconic” when they say “legendary.” In any case, Let’s make a rule: From now on, someone has to be remembered 700 years after their death for them to be considered “Legendary.”

Fake Definitions… from Daisybrain

• Zoology: The study of zoos
• Astronomy: The study of asses
• Sociology: The study of sociopaths
• Rhinology: The study of Rhinos
• Sarcology: The study of sarcasm
• Cardiology: The study of playing cards
• Cosmetology: The study of the cosmos

Desperately Important New Words and Thoughts from Daisybrain

Unlike some new word sites, you do not have to pay me a royalty every time you use these words. But a tip would be nice.

Flossophy – the philosophy of dental care