Famous First Words

March 27, 2017

rockhopper4

You want to start a story with an enticing first line. Here are some first lines for your essays, short stories and novels guaranteed to peek reader interest. Or at least to peek their fear. Feel free to use them as writing prompts. If you get published, please pay me money. Any amount. Enough for a bar of chocolate.

Fifteen Future Famous First Phrases:

  • I probably know more about humans than I know about my own species.
  • I promise not to kill you if you read this entire story.
  • This book explains the six easy steps you can take to achieve physical immortality.

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Google Proves Trump Right!

March 16, 2017

This week’s news has the White House saying that miners (people who dig stuff up out of the ground, not people who are children) don’t watch public television (PBS). Thus, they are proposing to eliminate federal funds for PBS. I figured that there must be a “Miners for Public Television” advocacy group. So I googled it. No “Miners for Public Television” or even “Miners for PBS.” So, the White House must be right. What else are they right about? I decided to google some phrases to find out….

  1. “People think Trump has small hands” gets zero results. Therefore, people think he has big hands.
  2. Also, no hits forĀ “People like Hillary better than Donald.” You’re on a roll, Donny!
  3. “People think Donald Trump is stupid”: According to Google, as of March 16, 2017, only 4 people think this.
  4. Finally, 155,000 hits for “Donald Trump is the best president ever.”

So, the White House can rest easy. I decided to continue my search for truth on the internet, and this is what I discovered:

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Disconnected Thoughts

September 5, 2016

Brainstorming

Here are some things I’ve been thinking today. If we were eating a meal together, I would probably figure out a way to inject them into the conversation. But because I have no social life, I am sharing them here, in this blog post, with random strangers, lurkers and family members checking up on me.

  • Why We’re Hearing More Racist Comments in “Polite Society”
    • I believe that future social scientists will come to the conclusion that one result of Barack Obama’s presidency was a resurgence in public sphere racist dialogue. Not just as a reaction to Obama, but Obama gave racists an opportunity to say racist stuff that heretofore had been discouraged in public, under the guise of complaining about a President, and it just grew from there.

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Spouses of the Famous, Revealed!

December 14, 2014

This week: Meet Darth Vader’s Wife, Ella:

Ella Vader

For more drastically important art and information, click this flower:

dasy1


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