Messages Sent!

April 14, 2018

We send messages to the world!

Messages! That’s our job. We send them through Twitter & through bombs. Sometimes we send them through hush money. Here are our some of most recent messages:

Hello world! We can blow you up!

Hi World. We will kill people to punish people for killing people the wrong way.

How’s it going World? Other people can’t have the same weapons we can. Or we will use those weapons to kill those people.

Howdy World! Your dictators are evil! Our dictators are doing a great job.

Good morning World! We never said what we are recorded having said. Whoever told you we did say that is your enemy and can not be trusted.

Dear World, Our previous statements, promises, treaties, etc., were made by our previous (bad) leaders are are no longer operative.

Good Day, World! It’s not interference in our elections if you help to elect the right politicians.

Watch out, World! People who are different than you want to take things away from you.

Good afternoon World. The people in power are the ones who are the real victims here!


Clicking this flower will be good for you:

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Are Rock Lyrics Sexist?

April 5, 2018

Are Rock Lyrics Sexist? Here’s an easy way to find out: Reverse the pronouns! Let’s try it with a few popular songs from throughout the decades:

  • From the hit Elvis song, Baby, Let’s Play House:

(This song reached #5 on Billboard’s Country Singles chart in 1955)

Well, you may go to college,
You may go to school.
You may have a pink cadillac,
But don’t you be nobody’s fool…

Now listen to me, baby
Try to understand.
I’d rather see you dead, little boy,
Than to be with another woman.

That last part may sound familiar to Beatles’ fans – they used the original gender version in Run for Your Life: “I’d rather see you dead little girl, than to be with another man.”

  • From the 3OH!3 song, Don’t Trust Me

(This song reached #4 in 2009 on Billboard’s Top 100.)

Don’t trust a ho, never trust a ho
Won’t trust a ho cause the ho won’t trust me
He wants to touch me, woo ooh, he wants to love me, woo ooh
He’ll never leave me woo ooh, woo ooh, ooh ooh
Don’t trust a ho, never trust a ho
Won’t trust a ho cause the ho won’t trust me….

Shush boy, shut your lips
Do the Stevie Wonder and talk with your hips

(The original being, “Shush girl, shut your lips. Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips.” While there are a number of famous deaf and blind women, famous deaf/bliond men are harder to find for some reason. So I went with Stevie Wonder.)

  • And of course,

Lay, gentleman, lay, lay across my big brass bed

from Bob Dylan’s Lay, Lady, Lay, which hit Billboard’s #7 position in 1969.

So, yes, of course rock lyrics are sexist. Women are “girls,” while men are men. Songs about men lusting after 16 year old girls are celebrated (Chuck Berry’s Sweet little sixteen, the Broadway musical Hair’s Donna: “Once upon looking for Donna time there was a 16 year old virgin!” and Johnny Burnett’s You’re Sixteen: “You’re my baby, you’re my pet…. Ooh, when we kissed I could not stop…. You’re sixteen, you’re beautiful, and you’re mine.”) At least Joan Jett changed the pronoun of the Arrow’s I Love Rock and Roll, about a 17 year old girl to “he.”

Are things changing? Perhaps. I just looked at the lyrics of the current top 10 radio hits and, while incredibly idiotic and shamefully shallow, moronic, vapid, dumb, uninspired, uncreative and pointless, only one, Ed Sheehan’s Perfect, harken’s back top the girl-with-man days:

“Be my girl, I’ll be your man”

Not exactly a comprehensive study. But I don’t have the fortitude to read through all the insipid lyrics of today’s corporate algorithm produced “music.” Let’s just hope the days of making millions of dollars by telling a “ho” to shut up and talk with her hips are over.

Hey look! A flower portal:

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It’s the Children, Dummy

February 20, 2018

Today at work, a wise colleague told me that the Florida children demonstrating for gun control, while impressive, “will lose.” He explained, “They don’t know what they’re up against.” I predict just the opposite. They will win. And I have history backing up my position.

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I’m So Bored with the USA (new lyrics)

November 21, 2017

Yankee teenager
He want to shoot some China White
He met it in New Hampshire, but now
He can’t afford a bite

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Alien

August 26, 2017

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I should have realized years before that I was an alien, but I was always in denial. Growing up in Southern Indiana in the 70s, I thought I didn’t fit in because I was the only Jewish kid. But it was more than how the others treated me; I didn’t like anything the other kids were into. All the other students would attend the assemblies to cheer on the football team. I’d slip into the band room office, stack plastic chairs onto a desk, push open a ceiling tile, pull myself up into the crawlspace, and sneak my way over the assembly hall to wait it out. I never got caught because no one ever noticed I was missing.

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Be Afraid! But Not of North Korea

August 11, 2017

Every government loves to have an enemy to rally their people against. It’s especially useful for the consolidation power by an unpopular regime.

But here are some reasons your fear of the latest US bogeyman, North Korea, is misplaced.

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Words we need to make it through the next year

July 16, 2017

 

Junioring: The act of claiming innocence by stupidity

Internyet: Russian use of the internet to veto an election 

Fakicity: Obvious artificiality and fakeness presented by people pretending to be authority figures

Flerp: To pass on a brain activity due to media overload. Example: In response to a question about the Trump-Russia conspiracy,  “I flerp on that,” “I flerp,” or simply, “flerp.”

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