Famous First Words

March 27, 2017

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You want to start a story with an enticing first line. Here are some first lines for your essays, short stories and novels guaranteed to peek reader interest. Or at least to peek their fear. Feel free to use them as writing prompts. If you get published, please pay me money. Any amount. Enough for a bar of chocolate.

Fifteen Future Famous First Phrases:

  • I probably know more about humans than I know about my own species.
  • I promise not to kill you if you read this entire story.
  • This book explains the six easy steps you can take to achieve physical immortality.

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I Know I’m Awake

March 19, 2017

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I know I’m awake because I feel the cool air on my arm hairs.

I know I’m awake because the far-off branches of trees are blurry.

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Google Proves Trump Right!

March 16, 2017

This week’s news has the White House saying that miners (people who dig stuff up out of the ground, not people who are children) don’t watch public television (PBS). Thus, they are proposing to eliminate federal funds for PBS. I figured that there must be a “Miners for Public Television” advocacy group. So I googled it. No “Miners for Public Television” or even “Miners for PBS.” So, the White House must be right. What else are they right about? I decided to google some phrases to find out….

  1. “People think Trump has small hands” gets zero results. Therefore, people think he has big hands.
  2. Also, no hits for “People like Hillary better than Donald.” You’re on a roll, Donny!
  3. “People think Donald Trump is stupid”: According to Google, as of March 16, 2017, only 4 people think this.
  4. Finally, 155,000 hits for “Donald Trump is the best president ever.”

So, the White House can rest easy. I decided to continue my search for truth on the internet, and this is what I discovered:

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Reboot

March 14, 2017

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He’d been getting underground Crisper treatments for years. Maybe his new friends didn’t suspect, but I knew Elray back in the 90s, when I was in high school and he was pushing 40. He should have been in his late 70s, but with a full head of jet black hair and athletic build, he looked younger than when I hung out with him. Plus he had to be eight inches taller. He was all brilliant white smiles as he walked up to me in his signature black tuxedo, through the crowd of retro-punks and retro-mods.

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Why Conflict Resolution Works

December 24, 2016

A lot of systems have been devised to help people take control of interpersonal conflict with the aim of facilitating positive, win-win outcomes. But, is there an underlying essence common to successful conflict resolution techniques? Let’s compare six systematized approaches to conflict resolution, looking for commonalities.

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Stand Up and Be Discounted (is the name of this blog post)

October 24, 2016

Just like the @ sign for “at,” there should be signs for “before” and “after,” something like this: and

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Here is some Trump Haiku:

1.

This Haiku is rigged

It is against Donald Trump

It is so unfair

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Three Poems. Not Two. Not Even Four, But Three.

October 21, 2016

Rotten Teeth

They give up their teeth

They give up their jobs

And their children

They defend their ego

“Take my teeth,” they say

He misses his 12 children

A new baby will grow up

With dad in an endless time out.

 

It’s the system, not their fault.

They got screwed. It’s unfair.

But this time it will be different.

This is the last time.

They gave away their rotten teeth.

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