Google Proves Trump Right!

March 16, 2017

This week’s news has the White House saying that miners (people who dig stuff up out of the ground, not people who are children) don’t watch public television (PBS). Thus, they are proposing to eliminate federal funds for PBS. I figured that there must be a “Miners for Public Television” advocacy group. So I googled it. No “Miners for Public Television” or even “Miners for PBS.” So, the White House must be right. What else are they right about? I decided to google some phrases to find out….

  1. “People think Trump has small hands” gets zero results. Therefore, people think he has big hands.
  2. Also, no hits for “People like Hillary better than Donald.” You’re on a roll, Donny!
  3. “People think Donald Trump is stupid”: According to Google, as of March 16, 2017, only 4 people think this.
  4. Finally, 155,000 hits for “Donald Trump is the best president ever.”

So, the White House can rest easy. I decided to continue my search for truth on the internet, and this is what I discovered:

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Stand Up and Be Discounted (is the name of this blog post)

October 24, 2016

Just like the @ sign for “at,” there should be signs for “before” and “after,” something like this: and

new-note-3 andnew-note-2

Here is some Trump Haiku:

1.

This Haiku is rigged

It is against Donald Trump

It is so unfair

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Emergency Blog Post!

August 21, 2016

Computer error

The Internet is Broken! Here’s proof:

  • “I don’t care about pandas” receives 21,300 results on Google, whereas “I care about pandas” receives five. That’s right, 5!!!!!

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Poems that will get me killed

August 19, 2016

scared

What can I say? I like a dramatic blog post title now and then.

Personal updates:

  • I’ve decided to stop binge eating, beginning toorrow, so I have to finish off this loaf of “Four Cheese Medley Sweetbread” tonight.
  • I thought of with a new word today, “Huwomanity,”and am pondering how to use it… other than in this announcement.

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Fake Definitions… from Daisybrain

September 7, 2015
  • Zoology: The study of zoos
  • Astronomy: The study of asses
  • Sociology: The study of sociopaths
  • Rhinology: The study of Rhinos
  • Sarcology: The study of sarcasm
  • Cardiology: The study of playing cards
  • Cosmetology: The study of the cosmos

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Blow Your Mind with these Totally Random Blog Post Items

July 31, 2015

Catchy Slogans Seemingly Devoid of Meaning:

Ignore the ignorant!

Expunge the sponges!

Down With Gravity!

Freedomination!

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