Thought Pimples

April 1, 2013

ketchup-mustard-mascots

  • Jew-ish: kind of Jewish. “Why isn’t he coming to services? I thought he was Jewish.” “Well, he’s Jew-ish.”
  • There are small and capital letters; there should be small and capital numbers. They would function in the same way as the capital letters. You would capitalize the first in a string of numbers. 10,217 would be 0,2017. 297 would be ⊆97. I leave the rest of the characters to you to figure out.
  • Shockingly, this sentence has never, until now, appeared anywhere online: “Honey, I dismembered the kids.”

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Here are Some Further Assaults on the English Language

February 8, 2013

Copyright 2013 by Daisybrain Media

Here are some Redefinitions:

A rest stop: When the police pull you over to arrest you

Ironic: Having qualities of iron. Example: “Iron Man is ironic.”

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Stand-Up Comedy One-Liners by Daisybrain

January 22, 2013

Ha

Try these comedic one-liners on your next comedy tour. Note: By using them, you agree end each joke with, “So sayeth Daisybrain.”

  • If you have stage fright and you’re making a public speech at a nudist colony, should you imagine the audience fully clothed?

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