Here are Some Further Assaults on the English Language

Here are some Redefinitions:

A rest stop: When the police pull you over to arrest you

Ironic: Having qualities of iron. Example: “Iron Man is ironic.”

New Business Names!

Thoughticity

I have a friend who for years worked for a business that made up and sold name ideas to other companies. That seems like the best job to get paid for in the world. In that spirit, I’ve come up with the following fantasmispectaculastic names for businesses. I can’t believe the following made up words are not already the names of businesses. In fact, most of them receive zero hits in searches. I have reserved all of them as dot coms, so if you want the name for your hip, new business, contact me.

• Thoughticity
• Synchrilliant

Get Your Business Name Here

Whether it’s the cleverly morbid “Curl Up And Dye,” or the unappealingly wacky “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow,” there seems to be an unwritten law that all hair salons in the United States have to have puns or other word plays for their names. What if all businesses operated with this requisite? I have provided some suggested names of businesses that want to follow the lead of hair salons*.

Why IBM Can Never Be Taken Seriously

What’s up with corporate names? Are they taunting us with their inappropriateness? If you don’t believe there’s a conspiracy to humiliate themselves or to test our ability to notice bizarre word choices, please consider the following:

• IBM – Oh really? You BM? Do I have to know how proud you are about your Bowel Movements?