Limp Avian Turd vs. El Zen Sky

Daisybrain has migrated from WordPress over to Medium. In the process, it split into two blogs: Daisybrain and OCD-Free. The following post is reprinted from Daisybrain.

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It’s time to squeeze more puns an anagrams out of the wilted cabbage that is my brain.

• Travel logs sound unwieldy for travel. I would suggest travel twigs.
• If you have stage fright and you’re making a public speech at a nudist colony, should you imagine the audience fully clothed?
• Every Christmas I feel cramped, because I always try to live in the present. But that’s a long time to stay still in a box under a tree.
• When I think about the looming prospect of a Russian invasion of Ukraine, I am unsettled by the following indisputable facts:

1. The letters of “Russia” can be rearranged to spell Sir USA, which makes Russia just a medieval version of the USA, which itself is the most violent country in the world, having invaded more nations than any other country in history.
2. “Ukraine” can be rearranged to spell air nukes.
3. “Sanctions” cast no sin. But “warfare” causes raw fear.
4. It makes sense that “European” sounds like “You’re a-peein’,” since “Europe” is our pee.
5. The Russians better watch out for Kamala Harris, since her name rearranges to spell Am liar shark. (Or Ma Liar Shark).
6. Joseph Biden presents as a bit more passive, with the anagrams Bed Pies John and Needs hip job.
7. I don’t know what it means, but Joseph Biden can also be rearranged to spell “Hep jibes, son!” Which sounds like something he’d say.
8. Most alarming are the Vladimir Putin anagrams: A Invalid Trump, Laid Vain Trump, VIP Admiral Nut, VIP until drama, Mad Turnip Vial, Variant Mud Lip, Invalid Apt. Rum, Animal Turd VIP, Valiant Rum Dip, Timid Pun Larva, Valiant Rump ID, Dim Lava Turnip, Avian Dirt Lump, Valiant Mud Rip, Limp Avian Turd, Putrid Anal Vim (has he sent the assassins after me yet?), Lava Rim Pundit, Invalid Rat Ump, Laid Up Varmint, Maudlin Rat VIP, Diurnal Vat Imp, Plain TV Radium, Primal Nut Diva, And Virtual Imp.
9. Whereas Ukraine’s “Zelensky” is simply El Zen Sky.

• In other world news, “global warming” is a blaming growl, an aging warm boil, and an all raging womb. I like the imagery of the all raging womb of Mother Earth fighting against the aging warm boil of the planet caused by the blaming growl of humans in denial.

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That’s all the blog I have time for before whatever it is I do besides blogging. Come visit me on Medium.

Daisybrain Covideo

Here are all 8 of my Covidiaries…

 

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And now for this (click it):

How to Build a Treadmill Desk – the Series

I made an educational video called How to Build a Treadmill Desk. It has received over 20,000 views, which may not be viral, but maybe it qualifies as some sort of minor infection. Perhaps a blister. It’s gone blisterous. I followed the video with two more pieces that delve into the complex and rewarding world of making treadmill desks. Here are links to all three!

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Click the daisy for something completely different:

Amazed by Stephen Colbert

 

I am amazed by the success of Stephen Colbert. I never would have thought that people would “get” political parody. This impression was born of experience. Maybe that’s because the victims, er, audience, of my political satire were generally less self-selecting than people who tune in to a show on Comedy Central.

Avoid These 10 Jokes

I shall now drink two cups of coffee and create ten jokes. Remember kids: Coffee can stunt your growth. And jokes can cause anal-ear disorder, also known as “ear-itated bowel syndrome.” OK, that counts as one of the ten.

2. Until the label says otherwise, I’m gonna keep assuming that a bottle of wine is 1 serving.

Stand-Up Comedy One-Liners by Daisybrain

Try these comedic one-liners on your next comedy tour. Note: By using them, you agree end each joke with, “So sayeth Daisybrain.”

• If you have stage fright and you’re making a public speech at a nudist colony, should you imagine the audience fully clothed?

How (not) to Build a Treadmill Desk: 3rd Attempt

Greetings, Interwebians,*

To give you a break from my puns, edgy political satire & annoying word play, I am presenting a link to my latest video, “Disposable Treadmill Desk.” While my attempts at building the ultimate work/exercise space may seem doomed to failure, the fact is, that while I write these words, duct tape has been holding together my latest contraption for nearly a week. So there.

In any case, or at least in this case, this video features a cameo as well as camera work by future teen heart-throb Munny603. Check out his videos, too.

Disposable Treadmill Desk

*I made that up just now – like it?

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This flower will take you somewhere: