Latest Scam Emails

April 8, 2010

Hello patient readers,

For several days I received no emails from wealthy orphaned Africans or dying business partners of murdered billionaires who needed to transfer millions to my bank as soon as I send them my account information. As you can imagine, I was feeling lonely. Then, suddenly, the letters started arriving again. I have been very busy over the last few days saving beautiful refugees who want to marry me and put millions of dollars into my bank account. I have also been winning several lotteries that I haven’t entered.

Here are my latest exchanges: Read the rest of this entry »

My Relationships With African Email Scammers

April 1, 2010

I was happily enjoying my growing relationships with several African orphans of billionaire advisors to former heads of states. You know, people who are stuck in a refugee camp that happens to have great internet access and who need to transfer millions of dollars into a random foreigner’s bank account and maybe fall in love and move to America in the process. I’m talking about people who are “honest and nice looking girl,” “tall” people who are simultaneously short, and a brother and sister from Haiti who’s father went on a trip to the Ivory Coast shortly after being murdered by the earthquake.

As you can see from my correspondence, I really wanted to help each and every one of these alleged people, and was deep into negotiations with them when I suddenly stopped getting replies. It turned out that my email program was malfunctioning. Strangely, it was attaching false return addresses to the Sender header, like “” and “”. I have no idea why this was happening, but it seems suspicious to me. Maybe the former business partners who killed these people’s fathers or the earthquake that killed their parents before their parents sold their shipping car, wanted to stop my generosity.

Whatever the case, I was unable to aid these desperate millionaires. But I have saved the bits of correspondence as it is, and if you are reading this, Miranda and Eddyson Norberte, Tina Love, or Francis “Frank” Zino, please write back. My email is all cured now and I need your bank account information, the height of your dog or other pets, and the nickname of your goat.

After reading this dramatic and heart warming correspondence, please see the end of this post for a cautionary note. Read the rest of this entry »

Welcome to Daisybrain!

March 30, 2010

It occurs to me that visitors to this blog may be here for different reasons. Some of you may be looking for posts involving word play. Others might be interested in essays on school reform. Still others might have clicked a link to the word “pussy”. Looking over my posts, I can break most of them down into eight general categories. While I encourage you to click on the Index button to peruse all of my posts, the following organization might be a good way to get started finding posts that interest you. A few posts appear in more than one category. Good luck! Read the rest of this entry »

Help Leutenat Dave Marvin of Us Army!

March 16, 2010

I enjoy writing back to African email scam artists. Sometimes I picture them wasting their time trying to translate my letter and responding instead of pursuing a fresh victim. Sometimes I picture them even getting the joke and laughing. After all, criminals are allowed a sense of humor.

Thus, I have been having fun with “Leut.Dave Marvin,” who desperately needs my help in getting millions of stolen US Dollars out of Iraq. We have been writing back and forth for a few days now, and  I eagerly await his next email. I am going to reproduce our correspondence here in the hope that you might also be able to offer Dave some assistance. You can use the email address below to contact him, but these addresses tend to disappear quickly, so I would do it right away.

You can tell him whatever you like, but here are some suggestions:

  1. Tell him that word on the street says he has 25 million dollars he needs to move out of Iraq and that you can help him out by laundering the money. You can exchange it for prawns or monkey teeth and he can sell that to Norwegian fishermen at a great profit.
  2. Tell him that you know me, Tomtom Desperato, and that I am sure to rip him off and he should really be doing business with you.
  3. Give him the name and email address of a different Nigerian scam artist and tell him that this other fellow can help get his money out of Iraq and into a Nigerian bank.
  4. Ask him probing questions about poodles.

I now present the series of emails between myself, Tomtom Desperato (whom he insists on calling “Eric Indiana”) and Dave Martin, whom I have come to call “Shirley”. Read on…. Read the rest of this entry »

Latest Scam Email Correspondence

March 13, 2010

I am often in need of procrastination, so I reply to the African scam email offers I receive. Perhaps this is why I now get about 2 per day. It is a lot of work to think up absurd responses, so I only choose a few per week to answer. Today, I got an answer back from one of them – a man with exactly nine (now just six) days to live whom God has told to transfer his millions of US dollars to a random foreigner’s bank account. As soon as I give him all of my bank account information, he can die a happy man.

Here for you own procrastination are some of the latest email scam letters I’ve received and my responses, including my ongoing conversation with the man with six days to live. I hope to drag that one on for weeks, because  it is my mission to help the dying to keep living on the hope that they can steal money from strangers such as myself. Read the rest of this entry »

Excerpts of Email Scam Correspondence

January 9, 2010

Looking back at the old African scam emails I received, I found a few examples of some emails I wrote back and forth with the scammers. Here are a few for your reading pleasure. May God smile upon your house: Read the rest of this entry »

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