Things There Should Be

June 21, 2017

Here are some things that there should be:

  • Two names for two types of family – the family you came from, and the family you formed. The way things are now, we have sentences like, “Our family goes to my wife’s family. Then, I go to my family, but not with my family – they stay with her family.” I have been recently informed that the family you came from is called your “family of origin,” but that’s too remote sounding. How about “Parental Family” and “Self-Family”? Something. When you have the answer, post it in a comment, and I’ll tell the people in charge of speech.

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More There Should Bes

January 20, 2015

Daisybrain endeavors to provide the world with practical suggestions for its own improvement. We’ve done it here, here and here, to link to a few. We have taken the fact that the world has ignored our suggestions as a plea for even more. So, here ya go:

  1. There should be an ambulance service for pets.
  2. There should be an app that delivers a mild electrical shock to people every time they say something racist, homophobic, sexist, etc…. Feedback without humiliation.
  3. There should be Smart Toilets that adjust volume of flush according to mass of contents and include an interior bowl ventilation system that sucks odors down and away.
  4. There should be Heated Winter Clothes that sense local skin temperature (feet, arms, etc,) and adjust heating accordingly.
  5. There should be interactive TV/Web shows where you get to choose how an episode proceeds. You would be given possibilities for a character to choose different actions and then see how the choice would play out. Does she choose to become a vampire? Do they move to LA? Should she ask her out?

And now for something completely different (probably).

Click this flower to go to a random post from the Daisybrain universe:


Signs that Would Make Good/Bad Band Names

December 17, 2014

Lying on my back in some twisted yoga pose, I saw a ceiling pipe with a sticker that read, “Storm Drain.” What a great band name, I thought. That, or “Dorm Strain.” Continuing to ignore the yoga teacher, it occurred to me that many potential band names could be found in everyday signs. Here are some examples:

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Product Suggestions for 2015 and Beyond!

October 9, 2014

New Things WeNeed

  1. Why do laptops only plug in on one side? I don’t know about those things that aren’t Macs, but with Macs, it’s just the left side, which always seems wrong – the outlet is always on the wall to the right. My #1 suggestion for 2015 is Bilateral Power Inputs: Let us plug in on either side. Are ya with me, world?
  2. Subscription Parking: If Parking Meter Pay Apps (above) are somehow impractical, I suggest that cities sell parking subscriptions. Let me leave a doodad of some sort on my dashboard that officers could scan to show that I’m paid up for the month. Even a paper thingy with my license plate number printed on it, that I could hang from the rear view mirror would be a fine low-tech solution.
  3. Parking Meter Pay apps: When I’m wasting my life away writing blog posts in a cafe, I don’t want to be bothered asking the barista for change and then running out in the rain to put another quarter in the meter. I should be able to click on the meter number and deposit money remotely. And if I felt generous, I could put money in other people’s meters that way.
  4. Face Blurring App: At some point, Apple will come out with its own version of Google glasses & then everyone will be walking around looking through screens that identify everyone who comes into their field of view, or even people in the general vicinity. At that point, we should also have an obscuration app that hide our identities – the viewer would actually see a blurred face when they looked our way.
  5. Spray-On Tortilla Chips: Spray instant tortilla chips from a can! Get artistic – any household object will work as a tortilla chip mold; spray it onto a balloon filled with tortilla chips for a tortilla chip piñata; or spray onto your body for a crunchy, delicious exoskeleton. This will be the start of a huge trend in spray-on foods.

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Things People Out There Need to Invent

November 22, 2012

Tribune/Nathan Orme – Kenny Method, a 14-year-old eighth grader at Clayton Middle School in Reno, jokingly demonstrates where this human brain would be located if it were still with its original owner and not in a plastic bag for research purposes.

  1. An abbreviation equivalent to the Latin e.g., that can be used after a phrase where you’d tack on “for example.” As it is, “e.g.” is limited to use before the example. For now, I’ll use the actual abbreviation of “for example,” f.e.
  2. Facebook app that filters swear words out of the status updates of, let’s face it, mainly teenagers, replacing them with either asterisks or other pre-chosen words; i.e. “SHE’S A PENGUIN POMEGRANATE!!!!!!!” “I’m so LEDERHOSEN bored!!” and “I HATE PROSTATE HOMEWORK!” Read the rest of this entry »

Useful Things That Don’t Yet Exist

July 30, 2012

  • Charcoal Activated Fart Filtering Underwear

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Suggestions for People Who Make Things

December 4, 2011

Daisybrain Presents:

Suggestions for People Who Make Things

Bathroom Sink & Faucet Makers:

Eliminate that annoyingly hard to clean gap between the back of the faucet and the wall behind the sink

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