Google Proves Trump Right!

March 16, 2017

This week’s news has the White House saying that miners (people who dig stuff up out of the ground, not people who are children) don’t watch public television (PBS). Thus, they are proposing to eliminate federal funds for PBS. I figured that there must be a “Miners for Public Television” advocacy group. So I googled it. No “Miners for Public Television” or even “Miners for PBS.” So, the White House must be right. What else are they right about? I decided to google some phrases to find out….

  1. “People think Trump has small hands” gets zero results. Therefore, people think he has big hands.
  2. Also, no hits for “People like Hillary better than Donald.” You’re on a roll, Donny!
  3. “People think Donald Trump is stupid”: According to Google, as of March 16, 2017, only 4 people think this.
  4. Finally, 155,000 hits for “Donald Trump is the best president ever.”

So, the White House can rest easy. I decided to continue my search for truth on the internet, and this is what I discovered:

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Surprisingly Non-Virginal Google Phrases

July 22, 2011

After discovering so many Virgin Googlisms, I figured it would be easy to come up with more phrases that don’t appear on the internet. Instead, I discovered that the following unlikely phrases actually do occur in nature, so to speak. They are rare, but they pre-exist this post:

  • “Organize your farts” (2 results)

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