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Dee Dee Ramone, by J. Ladrone

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A wonton was won by only one; only one won one wonton. Wondering which one won one wonton? Juan won. Woo Juan!

Thoughts that Recently Leaked from my Brain….

• Are dogs really marking their territories when we take them for walks or are we using dogs to mark our territories?

Words and Such

 

Without your innate ability to urinate, you’re in urine trouble.

Which leads us to this list of dreadfully important new words:

• Urinatability: Your innate ability to urinate.

Here are Some Further Assaults on the English Language

Here are some Redefinitions:

A rest stop: When the police pull you over to arrest you

Ironic: Having qualities of iron. Example: “Iron Man is ironic.”

Curious Thoughts and Observations

• Consider the difference a comma can make:

The classic Christmas song, “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,”

vs. the cannibal song, “Chest, nuts, roasting on an open fire.”

More Home-a-Phones!

• “Home: a phone,” a homophone for homophone, is something a person very fond of their cell phone might be thinking. She or he might prefer that identification to “cell phone,” which could be confused with, “sell phone,” which you would never want to do if you thought of your phone as your home.
• Tofu, a white block of fermented soybeans, would be much less exciting to watch than “toe-fu,” a form of Kung-fu performed with toes.

Homophonia! Or, How You Spell Things Matters!

Consider the differences in meaning between these phrases that sound the same but are spelled differently:

• “You’re in danger!” vs. “Urine danger!” Of course, maybe you’re in danger because of urine danger, I don’t know.
• “Scientists have discovered rings around Uranus,” vs., well, you can guess that one.

Fun With Alternate Spellings

Spelling rules in English are so inconsistent, that you can be forgiven mistakes. Here are some understandable mistakes that may cause social awkwardness:

Fallacy means a false belief. If you try spelling it phallicy, you would have a false penis.

Good Mourning, America!

I have discovered that with a few minor changes in spelling or word choice, phrases and expressions I’ve heard my whole life can be made more truthful. Here are some examples:

Ronald Reagan’s optimistic pining to return to mythological better times was packaged with the slogan, “It’s morning in America again.” The election of Reagan also marked the end to the short-lived era of post Watergate reforms that were meant to curb the growing anti-democratic authoritarianism of the executive branch of governement. I think the slogan would have been more accurately written, “It’s mourning in America again.”