I Kan’t SEE a Thing

July 23, 2017

Word

Resently, the SEE key on my MakBook stopped working. This is annoying, but it kould have been worse. As you kan see, a ‘k’ or an ‘s’ is easily substituted, and for more formal kommuniation, I have taken to kopying and pasting the letter SEE. This takes up a bit of time, sine I kan’t just hit Kommand-SEE to kopy.

I’m not making this up. This is not an attempt at humor. It is my life. The reason I bought this laptop a year ago was that some of the keys on my previous one, a MakAir, also stopped working. I forget whith ones now bekause after I bought my new komputer, the keys on the old started working again. I try not to have any synikal interpretation of this series of events.

The letter SEE is, in any kase, not only nearly superfluous (we have k and s, but no letter to make that SEE-H sound) but it’s not needed nearly as muth as some other letters, like S and O. But it did get me thinking about the word alphabet. I have long advokated for a new word to refer to the letters of our written language. The word should rightly inklude all of the letters of the alphabet. And so now we have to the real reason for this blog post. It is to introduse readers of this blog and thus the entire world to the brand new word I am about to invent, by the time I finish typing this sentense….

Bwodgflytzjencksquimphvarx

And if you think it’s easy to put all the letters of the bwodgflytzjencksquimphvarx together in a manner that does not violate plausible English sound kombinations, try it yourself. In the meantime, please honor my efforts by pasting #bwodgflytzjencksquimphvarx  onto all of your soshial media posts. I’ll be wathing.


This daisy is a portal to another Daisybrain realm:

daisy2-e1467581849533


Wakescape

September 9, 2016

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There’s some kind of leak between my dreams and my so-called reality. It used to be one way, the normal way: bits and pieces of my life show up randomly in dreams. You know, your dog is in your dream, giving you advice, and she’s also your mother. But ever since April 13th, dream-stuff has been appearing in my waking world. For example, as I am writing this, I’m sitting in a café in Vermont, and on the chalk-written menu is raisin-flavored kombucha. Yes, Vermont is full of the hippy probiotic drink kombucha. But nobody really makes raison-flavored kombucha. It’s something I dreamed last night, along with the kombucha-flavored, vegan, raw chocolate cream pie, which I just noticed is also on display here in this café. It makes me wonder what else I’m seeing that I forget I dreamed up.

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Emergency Blog Post!

August 21, 2016

Computer error

The Internet is Broken! Here’s proof:

  • “I don’t care about pandas” receives 21,300 results on Google, whereas “I care about pandas” receives five. That’s right, 5!!!!!

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Top 10 Ways to Know if You are in a Movie (or TV show)

July 3, 2016

1. If you’re a Black woman in an otherwise White movie, you are: a sassy medical receptionist; a bland judge (if there are no other Black people in the movie) or a Loyal Black Friend (LBF). Good news though, female LBFs are no longer required to die, especially in romantic comedies.

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Thoughtful Comments from Readers

September 24, 2014

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Finally, Daisybrain is getting the recognition it deserves! The following are real comments that I have received recently here at Daisybrain:

“It’s awesome designed for me to have a website, which is beneficial in support of my knowledge.
thanks admin”

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I am not Chuwar

September 14, 2014

Today, I received this very moving message from “lindoss” in the comments section of my post, Latest Scam Emails:

Hello baby, are ok? sorry I am a fried because I sow man message that you sand for the man boys like me, and I am not Chuwar that it’s the thru. sine January your area sending the same massage for the man people way? kiss but I love your so much wen a sow your beautiful picture that you sand me. I hope that you will make me street about that. kiss kiss kiss until the and.

I am deeply sorry that lindoss is a fried man boy, but at least he’s not Chuwar. I detest Chuwar. I promise to make a street about that for you, lindoss.

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Read this and You Can Pretend You are in My Brain

July 26, 2014

Here are some recent thinks:

  • A name for a company that cleans up mildew: Mildon’t
  • I just saw “free range eggs” on the menu of this diner. Why would anyone put eggs in cages in the first place?

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