September 9, 2016


There’s some kind of leak between my dreams and my so-called reality. It used to be one way, the normal way: bits and pieces of my life show up randomly in dreams. You know, your dog is in your dream, giving you advice, and she’s also your mother. But ever since April 13th, dream-stuff has been appearing in my waking world. For example, as I am writing this, I’m sitting in a café in Vermont, and on the chalk-written menu is raisin-flavored kombucha. Yes, Vermont is full of the hippy probiotic drink kombucha. But nobody really makes raison-flavored kombucha. It’s something I dreamed last night, along with the kombucha-flavored, vegan, raw chocolate cream pie, which I just noticed is also on display here in this café. It makes me wonder what else I’m seeing that I forget I dreamed up.

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Emergency Blog Post!

August 21, 2016

Computer error

The Internet is Broken! Here’s proof:

  • “I don’t care about pandas” receives 21,300 results on Google, whereas “I care about pandas” receives five. That’s right, 5!!!!!

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Top 10 Ways to Know if You are in a Movie (or TV show)

July 3, 2016

1. If you’re a Black woman in an otherwise White movie, you are: a sassy medical receptionist; a bland judge (if there are no other Black people in the movie) or a Loyal Black Friend (LBF). Good news though, female LBFs are no longer required to die, especially in romantic comedies.

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Thoughtful Comments from Readers

September 24, 2014

Photo on 9-24-14 at 1.58 PM

Finally, Daisybrain is getting the recognition it deserves! The following are real comments that I have received recently here at Daisybrain:

“It’s awesome designed for me to have a website, which is beneficial in support of my knowledge.
thanks admin”

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I am not Chuwar

September 14, 2014

Today, I received this very moving message from “lindoss” in the comments section of my post, Latest Scam Emails:

Hello baby, are ok? sorry I am a fried because I sow man message that you sand for the man boys like me, and I am not Chuwar that it’s the thru. sine January your area sending the same massage for the man people way? kiss but I love your so much wen a sow your beautiful picture that you sand me. I hope that you will make me street about that. kiss kiss kiss until the and.

I am deeply sorry that lindoss is a fried man boy, but at least he’s not Chuwar. I detest Chuwar. I promise to make a street about that for you, lindoss.

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Read this and You Can Pretend You are in My Brain

July 26, 2014

Here are some recent thinks:

  • A name for a company that cleans up mildew: Mildon’t
  • I just saw “free range eggs” on the menu of this diner. Why would anyone put eggs in cages in the first place?

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More Headlines I’d Like to See:

July 15, 2014

Jesus Returns! And He’s Still Jewish

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T to the M: Marketing Transcendental Meditation to a Younger Demographic

June 24, 2014

I’ve been thinking about how Transcendential Meditation could be marketed to Gen-Whatever. It might look something like this:


Yo! Lace up, brah!

This is NOT your mother’s Transcendental Meditation!

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Future News

March 22, 2014


Man Sued For Illegally Avoiding Ads

Walmart joined Nike, Exxon Mobile, Viagra and the Natural Gas Lobbying Association in class action lawsuit against a Hartford man who illegally downloaded Adblock in an unauthorized attempt to block placements of advertisements in his cerebral cortex. “It’s like taking money out of our clients’ pockets,” complained an unnamed lawyer for the plaintiffs. The lawsuit seeks unspecified damages, jail time, and a complete reprogramming of the defendant’s brain.

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My Condition

March 13, 2014

My doctor has diagnosed me with clinical laziness, which explains a lot of my problems with procrastination. Now, you may think that laziness is a joke, like “restless leg syndrome,” or “diabetes”. But clinical laziness a very real condition that affects millions of people, robbing the world of billions of hours of productivity each and every day.

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